loft of a teenage mind

Journey.

2009-08-04T14:31:00.000+08:00

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through

Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

-Angela Zhang, JOURNEY.

谢谢。

2009-08-01T21:50:00.000+08:00

我们的缘分就这样终止了吗？真的不希望把它结束。

时间仿佛闪电，一瞬间，一年就这样过去。
好舍不得，也很遗憾没好好珍惜那些时光。

非常的感谢和感激您所为我付出的一些。这一生中是无法回报的恩赐。
嗯，也非常感谢上帝，因为让我有机会认识了您。

That's love and life.

2009-07-25T20:09:00.000+08:00

I read this on this blog and felt it was particularly sweet and to some extend romantic. However, realistically, I think it's an utter fallacy and impractical. This is something that will never happen in real life, but either way, it was a good read.

------------------------

My husband is a S/W Engineer by profession, I love
him for his steady nature and I especially love the warm feeling when I lean
against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings. My husband is my complete opposite; his
lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments
into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

"Why? " he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world !" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of
disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even
express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.

Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we
both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you
do it for me?"

He said: " I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you
cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can
help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every
month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your
tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be
infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes
and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the
computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save
my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and
help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand
while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the
beautiful sand...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower
yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...

That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies
in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms;
even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It
could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the
relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND
THAT'S LIFE

People often goes for romantic gestures, surprises
and sweet words whispered into their ears. We fall in love and feel
loved because of these so called romantic moments.

But the truth is romantic moments cannot show how much a person loves you. They merely create the feeling of being loved.

对不起

2009-07-18T20:35:00.001+08:00

脑海里浮现着每天累积的思考和想法，这些日积月累的思想阻塞了思緒。又让我变得更加心烦的是心里有许多无法发泄，无法解开的心结，好无耐。

原本以为非常的了解你的一举一动，可是现在的你，我一点都不明白。我的心很累因为我不明白我到地哪里作错在哪儿，你却有不和我说明，心里好难受。

要是真的是我哪里犯了这样无法让你原谅，不要不理我，告诉我。我是知错能改，只要你对我说，我会去改。我先在这里道歉，说声对不起！

Malaysia FC needs Lady luck and the Lapricorns to score one goal.

2009-07-17T08:50:00.003+08:00

Norsharul believes Red Devils can be vulnerable in defence

By ERIC SAMUEL

PETALING JAYA: National striker Norsharul Idlan Talaha believes Manchester United can be vulnerable at the back.

The 23-year-old UPB-MyTeam FC striker with 10 goals to his credit in the Super League said that every team had their strong and weak points.

“There is no doubt that United are a great side but there is always the element of luck for us to seize upon a golden opportunity at goal,” he said.

Norsharul said that although the Red Devils boast of having a star-studded backline, including goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar and towering defenders Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand, they were not invincible.

“For us to score against United is as good as having won the match,” he said.

Norsharul will lead the Malaysian charge in attack in the match at the National Stadium in Bukit Jalil tomorrow. He assumes the role of chief striker following the omission of Mohd Safee Sali and Mohd Nizaruddin Yusop from the national team.

However, Norsharul will get midfield support from seasoned campaigners Mohd Amri Yahyah and Indra Putra Mahayuddin.

“It is an honour to start in the first 11 against United. Hopefully, we can give them a good fight,” said Norsharul, who wants to pursue a more serious playing career away from home.

“I think it is time for us (Malaysian players) to come out of the shell,” said Norsharul of his plans to secure a contract with a club from a neighbouring country, Singapore, Indonesia or Thailand.

He said that unless the local players took the bold step forward, the standard of the Malaysian game would remain stagnant.

“I hear most of the time players wishing to ply their trade in Europe. But it is sad that none has really made it. I feel it would be better to consider moving to teams in the region first before taking the big leap to Europe,” said Norsharul.

“If Indonesian top guns like Bambang Pamungkas and Elie Aiboy can come to Malaysia and make a name for themselves, we should also be prepared to go abroad and improve our game.”

The Terengganu-born Norsharul, whose future with UPB-MyTeam is hanging in the balance, added that the presence of the foreign players, Keita Mandjou and Traore Abdoulaye, helped him become a better player when he was with Perak three seasons ago.

“I gained a lot playing alongside these foreign players. If we are not going to be exposed to a top field of teams, then, it defeats the purpose playing among ourselves with no real purpose,” he said.

credit to, The Star online.

------------------------------------------

There is nothing I can comment... but my reaction when reading this article on The Star online I laughed out loud, rolled on the bed, until my stomach hurt so badly, I needed to pee...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAHA.....

we shall see the score tomorrow... XD

Apologies.

2009-07-01T08:53:00.002+08:00

Scatterbrained.

It's been 3 weeks. The fourth week is coming up, would my decision stand? More importantly, would I be able to live with it? Does it really matter what others think? It's my life at the end of the day, but even though other opinions do not matter, it's going to be something I have to carry through in my life. It is going to be another 40 years minimum.

FORTY years of agony.

If I'm already looking it as an agonising decision, what/why the hell am I following it through?
Am I just settling? Am I doing the correct decision? They always say that the correct decision is always the hardest to make, does this mean I will be making the correct decision?

I'm really sorry. Really, I am sorry.

I'm sorry for my own mistakes.
I'm sorry for letting us down.
I'm sorry for agonising us.
I'm sorry for ruining your life.
I'm sorry for never making you proud.
I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused.

I know no matter the amount of "sorry" I use, it's never enough. After all, it is one of the most overly used word that the user don't really mean it. But, I'm really really sorry, and I only hope that I will be able to live with it.

Of lemons and races.

2009-06-15T23:48:00.001+08:00

我很累. 心累, 也很心煩.

我的思緒困住了, 變得無法思考.

頭快爆炸.

Who says if life throws lemons at you, you must make lemonade, why not lemon meringue?

Sometimes life isn't as plain as it seems. However, wouldn't it be fantastic if every frame in life was a Kodak moment? I suppose, if that were to be the case, life would be extremely boring.

Someone once told me that it not how you start the race but how you end it. Life is a journey and it's not the destination that counts. We learn from our failures, sometimes from those around us; but, nothing beats experiencing it first hand. Then again, it's only human nature nothing wanting to lose out. Or, is this new to our generation? Or, is it the way we were brought up by our parents to fulfill their own selfish desire, to attain something they could not achieve?

A RAT RACE IS STILL A RACE.
No matter the distance or hurdles.

In a race, there can only be one winner. Does that mean the others are losers? I'm tired of this race, I want to stop, give up, forfeit. However, the inertia makes it impossible. It's tiring, it's a vicious cycle because the inertia makes you continue, it makes you move further and farther from what YOU really want in life. And at the end of the day, it takes the might of God to halt, and take a detour or the scenic route or even U-turn. So, this makes the destination as important as the journey?

Life and it's decisions and destinations are as confusing as the missing link in Darwin's theory. Maybe the decisions during the journey is the requirement to get to the destination. The hiccups may not be setbacks but just a wake up call. After all, it is during these situations where we discover, experiment and learn about life and ourselves.

SO, if life throws lemons at you, you can either dodge it, make lemonades or meringues out of them or throw it back at whoever threw them at you. I personally would squeeze them into my vodka.

If only life's decisions were that simple.

为什么?

2009-05-07T18:28:00.002+08:00

为什么我的心

这是一个没有答案的问题
我感觉我变了谁让我变了

不知道不明了不想要

Time is running out.

2009-04-22T05:26:00.002+08:00

Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
Ooooohh

Yeah You will suck the life out of me

---------------------------------

Muse - Time is running out.

How appropriate. I have 12 days to my FINALS. shit. *thinks of all sorts of swear words available to mankind.*

Fix you.

2009-04-21T21:41:00.000+08:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

------------------------------

Coldplay - Fix You.

Snow (Hey Oh)

2009-04-20T17:05:00.003+08:00

Come to decide that the things that I've tried were in my life just to get high on.
When I sit alone, come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe that we rely on
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more - time to decide on.
Well it's killing me, when will I really see, all that I need to look inside.
Come to believe that I better not leave before I get my chance to ride,
Well it's killing me, what do I really need - all that I need to look inside.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
Come back and hey oh, look at what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go;
In between the cover of another perfect wonder and it's so white as snow,
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go.

Ho!

Went to descend to amend for a friend of the channels that had broken down.
Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up - just to hear you sing it out.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe what we rely on,
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh... listen what I say oh

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go
In between the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go.

I said hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go.
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow...
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go.

I said hey oh yeah oh yeah... tell my love now
Hey yeah yeah... oh yeah.

--------------------------------

Red Hot Chili Peppers- Snow (Hey Oh)

I'm SO addicted to this song. OMFG OMFG. It's so addictive.

Elysium

2009-04-18T21:08:00.002+08:00

Tonight, my girl, you will sleep with the angels.
Without any worries.
You will be happy.

Take care. <3
Rest in peace.

This be the verse.

2009-04-12T19:35:00.003+08:00

This Be The Verse

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

--Philip Larkin

Maybe this is one of the reason Philip Arthur Larkin is GOD, and maybe the reason why he was commitment phobic.

XD

fml

2009-03-13T10:49:00.003+08:00

无奈无力无语

~~I'm really tired. fml.~~

LIVERPOOL UNIVERSITY

2009-03-09T09:33:00.004+08:00

Damn it, COULD YOU WORK ANY FASTER AND HURRY UP WITH A REPLY ALREADY?

I NEED IT SO THAT I CAN MAKE MY ARRANGEMENT.
~~To either reject you or accept you.~~

please please please please please please please hurry up, I think I might suffer from a coronary soon if you don't provide me with a reply soon enough.

20/20.

2009-03-06T20:05:00.003+08:00

After reading this article (Here) , it made me feel really small, minute and useless. (yes, it's that time of the month.) I mean, I'm 20, still studying and living off my parents it's kinda depressing reading that someone 2 years my junior, say EMMA WATSON has a Total Domestic Box Office Gross of $1,461,797,640, and even with her busying filming schedule still manages to score straight A's for her British college entrance exams. Don't forget to take into consideration her looks and popularity. Me? didn't even come close to it. What's worse, Miley Cyrus, Dakota Fanning, Elle Fanning (DF's younger sis) and Abigail Breslin (the little me sunshine girl, one of youngest ever Oscar nominee) are ALL YOUNGER THAN ME. Need I mention they have a bank account bigger than my wildest dream and don't get me started on their looks, wardrobe and social life. DAMN.

~~At this rate I keep declining my friends, I'll have NO SOCIAL LIFE.~~

I wanna run with the wild horses.

2009-02-19T20:00:00.000+08:00

I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bareback carefree along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping headfirst, headlong
Without a thought.

To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free

All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but not feel scared

Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too

I wanna run with the wild horses...
Run with the wild horses

Happy 2009 Lunar New Year!!!

2009-01-26T03:57:00.002+08:00

Happy Lunar Year! In the year of Ox, I pray for everyone to have the strength and patience of the Ox to pull through this year.

Wishing you all, health, prosperity and love abundantly in the year of the Ox.

The teenage girl has left.

2009-01-24T23:11:00.008+08:00

I bade goodbye to my teenage years today and said Hello to the big 2-0.

In life, you have two kinds of families; the one you are born into and the one you choose.
I am truly fortunate to have both who I care and cares for me dearly.

I want to thank everyone for their well wishes and presents. I'm absolutely blessed to have you all in my life, and I praise the Lord for providing me the chance of meeting you all.

Thank you Shameen for SKYPE-ing with me half way across the globe from Nottingham, UK, singing me my birthday song. I really appreciate it and we shall have a real celebration come MAY.!!!

2009.

2009-01-02T00:44:00.003+08:00

After 115 post, 50 drafts, 2 years and 1 day.. I have grown up. It's a new year.

2008 was an eventful year and it has been as exhilarating as it has been educational. Even though, there were ups and downs (oh come on, life is a roller coaster ride..) it was fun while it lasted. I met people which I would have never thought I would have hung out with and saw that some people were more superficial than I thought they were true. 2008, I stuck to what I believed in and experienced life through it. I learnt that my parents were right about certain people and I should believe their instincts.

2008 showed me that sometimes things are never what it seems. It taught me the toughest lesson I needed to learn and made me realise that some people will blindly follow what their parents tell them to without processing it twice, through the mind and heart. My parents never told me to judge on the basis of "just because" or because the parents are in financial difficulties or stupid. They may not have believed in friendship, but they never once taught me or told me stay away from anyone who was anyhow different from me. Maybe 2008 was just outwardly expressing my parents' teaching.

2008, I lost my Godpa. May he rest in peace in God's loving embrace. It was painful, but at least I know that he is in a better place, free from the torturous suffering of Cancer.

2008 showed me compassion and love. I felt really blessed to be with the people that I care for. I really thank them from the bottom of my heart for showing me and teaching me what benevolence meant. The magnitude of graciousness and hospitality I have received is overbearing and no adjective or vocabulary can summarise what I really feel. I am truly and undeniably, positively fortunate to have you all in my life. Thank you so much, and I love you all.

----------------------------------

With 2009, I pray for a peaceful, smooth and quiet year. No resolutions for me, because it's pointless if I don't stick to it. All I want for 2009 is for it to be quiet and smooth flowing for me to excel in my exams and for those who expect the recession to hit them real bad.

The Perfect Cookie.

2008-12-29T18:19:00.004+08:00

FOOL PROOF CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE.

* 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
* 1/2 cup real butter, at room temperature
* 1/2 cup shortening
* 1 1/2 cups firmly packed brown sugar
* 2 teaspoons vanilla
* 2 large eggs
* 1 (12 ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate chips
* 1 cup chopped nuts (optional)

Directions

Mix flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl.
In a separate bowl, beat butter and shortening until creamy.
Add sugar and vanilla and beat with a mixer on medium speed until well blended.
Beat in eggs, one at a time, mixing well.
Add flour mixture, and beat slowly to incorporate, then beat to blend well.
Stir in chocolate chips and nuts.
Drop batter in 2-tablespoon portions about 2 inches apart on baking sheets.
Bake in a 375°F preheated oven until edges of cookies are brown but an area about 1 inch wide in the center is still pale, about 10 minutes.
Let cookies cool on pan about 5 minutes, then transfer to racks with a spatula.
Serve warm or cool.

** If the dough is too too soft, cling wrap it and chill it for 30mins before baking.
** Substitute Chocolate Chip with other ingredients to bake other kinds of cookies.
** Substitute 1/3 cups of flour with oats to make oat cookies.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

enjoy!!!

emotions through food.

2008-12-29T17:09:00.002+08:00

They always say how the food turns out relies on the Chef. You can tell the Chef's feeling through the food.

I burnt a whole batch of Chocolate Chip Cookie, TWO DAYS CONSECUTIVELY. Bugger.

心跳

2008-12-17T10:26:00.000+08:00

Everlasting Friendship.

2008-11-29T08:31:00.000+08:00

conductor?

2008-11-17T06:00:00.002+08:00

Singer, dancer, actor, producer, song writer, song producer....... now, orchestra conductor?

Everlasting Beauty?

2008-11-08T09:33:00.001+08:00

Reminds me of Philip Larkin's poetry.

Randomness.

2008-10-15T22:30:00.002+08:00

Don't you think Kim Min Joon's smile above resembles our own QABIR???
ahahahahaha.... the evil smirk/smile... =))

Ain't this little boy just simply adorable????
ish.

Change.

2008-10-12T13:46:00.003+08:00

Currently I'm once again at a crossroad.
I have packed my bags and moved on,
to a different place with mixed emotions.
There are many times that I wanted to look back and change time,
but I realised that...
it is because of those incidents
may it be happy or sad, bitter or sweet or sour,
it has made me a better and stronger person.
I wouldn't change the past for anything.

I'm a happier person now,
because,
I choose to be one.

I will only look forward,
and brace myself for any changes.
It is the only way to keep from staying in a particular time frame.

--------------------------------

Life comes in different forms.
It all depends on how you look at it and how much you are willing to accept it.
Smile and change a person's day.
=))

what's next?

2008-09-28T23:35:00.002+08:00

Clay Aiken is gay...... 0(m____m)0

What's next? Wang Lee Hom????

OMFG.

*p.s.: I'm rainbow friendly.*

----------------------------------

Gone

2008-09-16T17:38:00.002+08:00

The ugliness becomes clear and multiplies as you leave.

shoot me.

2008-08-25T21:20:00.000+08:00

I need to shoot myself.

=))))))))

녹지 않는 초콜릿

2008-08-22T23:15:00.001+08:00

가지면 행복 할 것 같지만 아니고
세상에 진실로 통하는 것들도 조금씩 틀어져 있는 조각도 있고
다들 그러하듯이 고민이 고민을 낳고
수많은 왜곡된 정보를 맹신하고
진짜라고 믿는 수많은 가짜들 사이에서
생물학적으로 늙어가고
풀기 어려운 정보를 다음 세대로 넘기고
생물 본연의 본질에 대한 답조차 전대미문의 수수께끼로 남아있는
모든 것들은 녹지 않는 초콜릿 같다.

-기품있는 넘 =))

disappointment.

2008-08-14T18:42:00.001+08:00

"I'm really disappointed in you. I'm really really disappointed with you." - mum, 14th August 2008.

Rainbow Friendly

2008-08-13T22:51:00.009+08:00

RAINBOW FRIENDLY

Cute and humorous.
Humour has always been important, and being able to kid other people and laugh at yourself is one of the many qualities people look for.

Liked by all ages and filial.
Being loved by all ages, an easy going character and good family relations (being filial) will definitely earn brownie points and be a people pleaser. =))

Sporty and possess a good body.
Having a good body makes a perfect clothe rack. XD Being sporty helps maintain good health and body shape. Besides, it adds to more activities to do.

Musical capabilities.
Rape a guitar when all else fails. Strum to strings and move her feet and soul. Sing a song and melt XY's heart.

Cooking capabilities.
Being able to not wreck the kitchen and cook a good edible meal would earn double the brownie points. In addition, cooking would be an adventurous experience and some XX loves it when XY loves their food.

A tree hugger and animal friendly.
Now, this will earn you even more brownie points. Provided XX is an environment idiot and hates pets.

--------------------------------------------

You'll always be my ROCK STAR!!!

eek.

2008-08-13T21:21:00.004+08:00

results will be out soon. ( in about T-minus 18hours )

~~I know that it's a little too late, but it doesn't stop me from doing some last minute prayers right?~~

Dear God, please please please please please please allow me to live tomorrow. Please allow me to do well in my results tomorrow.

where were you (when the world stopped turning)

2008-08-07T22:42:00.001+08:00

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA
Did you stand there in shock at the site of
That black smoke rising against that blue sky
Did you shout out in anger
In fear for your neighbor
Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children
Who lost their dear loved ones
And pray for the ones who don't know
Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble
And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone
Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her
Did you dust off that bible at home
Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened
Close your eyes and not go to sleep
Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages
Speak with some stranger on the street
Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow
Go out and buy you a gun
Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching
And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns
Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

I'm just a singer of simple songs
I'm not a real political man
I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you
The difference in Iraq and Iran
But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

The greatest is love
The greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

::HEART:: and ::God Bless::

hooked.

2008-08-06T21:38:00.003+08:00

I'm currently hooked on to the "new" Korean drama on 8tv - "Surgeon Bong Dal Hee". Yours truly rarely gets hooked onto such series.. but anyway, the 2nd male lead is damn hot; and I ought to be studying and [~~getting started on~~] finishing my assignments.

Oh My God.

2008-07-20T22:54:00.006+08:00

OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG.

His having a new concert, IN TAIWAN and I can't attend because I have classes and do not have the money to go... fingers are crossed that he'll be having a concert in Malaysia.
*Will start saving money NOW.* for both his new album release and upcoming concert.

MUSIC-MAN??? O.o'''

I really do not like the new look... but then again it's just a promotional gimmick... *hopefully*

question of the day.

2008-07-03T23:54:00.000+08:00

if you only have one chance, one opportunity, one moment,
to seize anything you want in this world......

WHAT WOULD IT BE?

oh starry starry night.

2008-07-03T20:20:00.000+08:00

I love stars.

Dark sky, bright lights. Knowing that it's actually the rays of another planet of another milky way, there may be life out there. Nobody would actually know.

The beauty of it's mystic and eternal flame. It's such a tranquil feeling sitting by the pool or on the beach just starring up into the unknown distance. Imagine the how peaceful and serene it would be.

Then again, who doesn't love stars? Both being intangible. Both big and loved by many. Both being dreamed of every night. Both known by all household. Come on, you know what I'm talking about.

I love stars.... ok maybe not love, but adore, fancy, attracted, admire, revere...... I ran out of adjectives to be in self-denial on my feelings about the celebrity stars.

P.S :The Golden Melody Awards will be hosted by Malaysia this year. Lee-hom may have not been nominated in any category, but it doesn't matter, he will be performing!!! Yet, I have no idea how to attend. I don't even mind working backstage for the event. =))

Is it The End? or a New Beginning?

2008-07-01T19:53:00.009+08:00

One and a half year passed by ever so quickly.

Have I changed?
Have I matured?
Have I learned?

Yesterday marks the official ending of my college life - The Annual A-Levels Ball.

-----------------------------------------

Is it The End? or a New Beginning?

I'll be starting my Law programme in exactly 5 days. I have no idea what to look forward to nor am I even hyped up about it either. I'm not even bothered to attend the orientation. Funny isn't it? Two years before I was ever so ecstatic about coming up to KL and starting A-Levels, but now, I'm starting university and I'm numb about it. Probably it's because I'm studying at the same campus and at the same block where I studied A-Levels. Besides, it's a plus point that I'm in a familiar environment right? It could also be the fact that I'm going in where I know nobody but at the same time conscious that I know people there.

I want to experience life in a different manner and a whole new light. I guess I will have to either way because I will be in a programme where I know no one, thus starting afresh. Big deal -.- It's only this way that we grow up and explore and widen our horizons. In this sense, I'll be able to be different (~~is this really what I want?~~).

Knowing nobody in the intake might not be such a terrible fact. It might just allow me to experience more of life and get to know more people. I will not forget the people who I got to know in college and I will get to know more people in university. I will just make the most out of everything I have got now.

"I used to dream that I could soar beyond the clouds
just close my eyes and fly away
blue sky inspires us to be free as bird
and that dream connects us every day"

We inspire and are inspired by our surroundings in our daily life, we will not be able to not acknowledge it and shut it out, ever. Like in a milky way, we are connected from far and beyond.

幸福天空因为爱,
因为爱而存在.

- lets hit home run together.

Tagged.

2008-06-17T23:54:00.005+08:00

I have been tagged by Lynn.

let's have some fun it. =)))

----------------------------------------------------------

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Emotional reaction wise... :
I will be not shocked, but I'll be sad.

Psychological and Physical wise... :
I might just slap him..... and..... and....

"I dug my key into the side of his Pretty little soaped up four wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all four tires..."
-Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats.

or even come up with something more evil than that...... and hopefully with help from some people I know. =D

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
To allow people to be more contented with themselves; end all poverty; end all children's sufferings.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Realistically :
It'll just be a small reception with all immediate family members that I actually know and are close to and my close friends.

Idealistically dream wedding :
A small wedding with all immediate family members that I actually know and are close to and my close friends. Somewhere at one of the Caribbean Islands or even somewhere like Bali or the Royal Mulu Resort, Sarawak. It'll be a sunset wedding with a 4 string quartet or a piano quintet accompanying the whole night. Everyone will be smart casually dressed and the ambiance will be very light, fun and happy ~~(obviously with the free flow of champagne)~~. The groom will be in a black(button down) dress shirt, black/white jacket and blue jeans or black slacks. =)) and a wedding cake that is actually EDIBLE (I hate it when the cakes are fake! it's just so unrealistic and fake[no pun intended.])

4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
If it's about the future maybe. Law? MBA? Bakery? Sony BMG?
However, we shall just focus at the present first.

5. What's your ideal lover like?
~~WANG LEE-HOM~~. Intellectual, charming, humorous, fun, sensitive, understanding, caring, dog lover, somewhat musically and artistically inclined with a slight(extremely)slight rebellious streak in him. =)))

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
It is a blessing to love and be loved by someone. The greatest gift of all is L-O-V-E.

7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
For someone I really love, forever, I think. Because it'll be worth it.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Random spazzing about him; search on every available search engines about him and his girlfriend. maybe whine and lament about his attachment. XP
~~(The person I secretly like is currently UNattached and infomation about him available widely on the internet. XD)~~

9. Is being tagged fun?
well, as opposed to studying and memorising statutes and case precedents.... OBVIOUSLY.

10. How do you see yourself in ten years time?
Apparently the world according to some random person I forgot, the world will experience apocalypse by 2012. Do the math! 8D

On the bright side, I would have accomplished my MBA by then and I might be on my way up the corporate ladder in Sony BMG, and traveled the whole world with you-know-who. =D

11. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Loved ones and friends. duh.

12. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
Smart, funny, passionate, in love with Nishikido Ryo and Japan, and wants to work for MTV Japan in the future.

13. Would you rather be single & rich or married but poor?
Am I supposed to choose between able to be wrapped up in a blanket with my loved one while sharing a cup of hot cocoa; and being able to be successful in Sony BMG with access to all the celebrities I want , dressed in Burberry, Marc Jacobs and Prada and travel without worrying ~~(and still get paid for it)~~.....
hmmm... O_O I don't know, but the latter seems rather more appealing for now.

14. What's the first thing you do every morning?
Hit the snooze button on my phone.
Hit the snooze button on my phone.
Roll out of bed.
Knock on Alea's door.
Wash up and shower.
Holler for Alea to wake up.
(just in case I don't hear her water running or her music playing in the toilet.)
Change into my clothings.

15. Would you give it all in a relationship?
I'm thinking that I would be a serial monogamist. I'll devote myself into the relationship once I'm certain about the relationship and the person I'm going to be with.

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
You can't "fall in love" with two person simultaneously. I don't think it's possible.

17. What type of friends do you like?
For me to consider a person as a friend, I would've accepted all quirks about the person. Hopefully no back-stabbing or bitching, that's all I ask for. =))

18. What type of friends do you dislike?
I wouldn't consider a person I dislike as a friend. =(( I'm sorry, but yeah, no matter how superficial life may get, it's the painful truth, if I don't like you, too bad. However, I will try to be as nonjudgmental as I possible can. ~~(I'm not really making any sense am I? or I'm just being to crude and unjust?)~~

I know nothing.

2008-06-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

Today's media, which is the way the public perceives things, is becoming more and more unified. Huge multinational internet conglomerates (OMG, never would I have thought I would be using such a word especially after ECONOMICS 4!!!) like CNN, BBC or AOL etc, give us the news, tell us what are the best movies, recommend restaurants, and let us communicate globally with great ease. There is no doubt that media and technology has made the world smaller, but in a sense it also sways the public opinion in countless arenas. We learn what they think is important for us to know. At worst, this has lead to people not thinking for themselves, and simply following public opinion. Will different cultures eventually fuse into one? Maybe, I don't know.

However, I think as the world gets smaller it has never been more important for different people to maintain and be proud of our differences. (are YOU?) it is our differences that entice us to travel, and keep us curiously studying other cultures. It is these differences that add spice and mystery to our lives. Just take a look at our very own Bukit Bintang. Just a street across, there is such a BIG difference. Both culturally and spending wise; it is both wonderful and at the same time sad. I mean, it's a blessing to be in Malaysia where you ALMOST can get everything at somewhere around, but what I don't get is why are the people of Malaysia not embracing their own personal IDENTITY?? I admit, I love Marc Jacobs, Burberry, Ed Hardy and etc.. but, would you seriously think people from overseas would want to see the SAME THING they can get at their motherland a season AHEAD at our country? Yes, it's definitely cheaper, but... are we sacrificing our culture, identity and lifestyle to adapt(or change) for the supposedly more sophisticated people?

Why do we bow down to them when all they see is that we are savages and primitive? I love eating with my hands, does it make me ugly and uncultured? If I eat with the proper cutleries and have actual proper table manners, does it make me any less Whiter?

Just a couple of days ago I was on Youtube and I came across this extremely demeaning and downright discriminating video, I was just sadden by the fact that this idiot took his spare time to create such a prejudice video when there are far more intellectual affairs to debate on(even saving a kitten from the tree outside his room is far more stimulating than making the video). I admit and agree that every country has its ugly, ghetto side, but it doesn't mean that the country isn't progressing or makes the country anymore appalling than the other so-called 1st world countries(i.e the US). I acknowledge the fact that China isn't one of the prettiest in the humility and social interaction area, but I don't see they all having a 12 year old bringing a gun to school and massacring other schoolmates in the school. Makes me wonder OUT LOUD which country who's extremely famous for it. Then again, even if there were such an incident, China's censorship board would have covered it up immediately to minimise the damage.

GLOBALISATION. Advancement in technology and the in flow and out flow of people would have contributed to all that is going on in the world, which is even more evident in our part of the world as all the supposedly smarter and intellectual people invaded our space and deprived us from our resources and at the same time, robbed our culture and identity.~~(urgh, English Literature 6 flash back. I flunked that paper badly.)~~ However, I must still thank them for the country's progression; without their intrusion, there will be no~~(or it would have taken us a million years with the sloth minded people)~~ advancement and entry into the globalised market. In addition, I'm extremely grateful for their inventions, however, without the Chinese, there will be no them either.

Nevertheless, the most atrocious act was not the video by itself. It was the people who commented on the video. It goes to show how they are ever so comfortable in their own comfort zone that they are like little sheltered bugs who never saw the sun and shrivels up when they meet the great big sun; or like the goats on the side of the bridge, thinking it has the best grass to graze, never knowing the grass MAY be greener on the other side. The video was just a compilation of photos, which may not have been the prettiest photos of China/Taiwan(Chinese as a whole.); but no actual stories behind the footage were given. I strongly believe that there will always be two sides of the same story/picture. However, to further prove that those people are single-minded microorganisms and how evidently ignorant they are, their comments were basically "Down with China!", "Boycott Beijing Olympics!", "The Chinks are just stupid and they only contribute more to the world pollution and nothing else.", "Boycott China made products, after all they all faulty and maybe poisonous." etc etc. Don't they realise that by boycotting the Olympics, it doesn't help their own country? I dare them to boycott ALL China made products, they will most likely have almost nothing to use in the world! China is currently the world's mogul, without them, the world economy will most likely crash,and the world will experience a GLOBAL RECESSION. (shit, econs 6 AGAIN.) Good Luck to them trying to find a substitute. Even India might find it hard to compete and fill in their shoes, but who knows, I may be wrong. (seeing the fact that I crashed a 12mark evaluation question on "how inflation rates affects exchange rates?" and "how does the government take their macroeconomic objectives with relation to inflation and exchange rates in their economy decisions?")

Adapt, evolve, meta morph into whatever the situation may be, but do not lose sight of your core. May you be American born, British born, Malaysian born, or even Venezuelan born, you will still be what you are. It is only the citizenship you take on, the identity you conform to, but ultimately, no one can change the essence of who you really are in your core.

well, you think about it. It's all in your hands and the decision is yours to make. You might still feel that the other side is greener, or you may think otherwise. You may even think I'm the one that is ignorant and stupid. However, at least I can be comforted by the fact that I know better than to be the frog in the well, not knowing what is going on on the other side of the world.

I AM CHINESE, AND NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO CHANGE IT.

for the time being,
may peace and love be on all of you.

我开始懂了

2008-06-10T08:47:00.005+08:00

我开始懂了

快乐是选择

Terrible. Horrible. Irritable. Bitch-able

2008-06-05T18:02:00.009+08:00

well, exams are on the way and the terrible, horrible, irritable, bitch-able week is coming up next.

English Literature Unit 4 and 5 on Wednesday.
Core Math 4 and Law Paper 1 on Thursday.
English Literature Unit 6 and Economics 6 on Friday.

Hopefully I don't crash out.
=)))

I never knew seeing a doctor and taking medicine from the clinic would be so expensive. I feel so JAKUN.

ahaha

2008-05-28T22:48:00.004+08:00

From Left: Alea, Me, Sabrina and SarahCs.

It was fun, hanging out with you all. We will need to do this more often. =)))))))))

-------------------------------------------

I have been DYING to know someone who shares the same birth date as ME ever since I could remember.

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND ONE!!!!

meet Mr. Cheah Wu Shern. D.O.B 24th January 198x.

AN: Are you legal?
SC: 3 Feb.
ST: oh, mine is on the 24th of Jan.
WS: No way. when's your birthday? (looking really shock.)
ST: 24th January.
WS: wow, that's my birthday.
ST: OMG, finally I've found one that shares the same birthday as me. (in disbelief)

Random-ness.

2008-05-26T23:37:00.003+08:00

You Are An INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.

Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.

You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.

You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

In love, you truly see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow.

You enjoy relationships as long as they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation.

At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...

But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.

You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.

You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Score: 69%

Your Intrapersonal Intelligence is High

You have a great understanding of who you are, and your place in the world.

You know what path you're on. And you are excited about your future.

You're always deepening your inner knowledge and introspection. And enjoying it every step of the way.

How Does Your Intrapersonal Intelligence Rate?

You Belong in New York

You're a girl on the go, and LA's laid back lifestyle isn't really your thing.

You prefer a city that never sleeps, and people as ambitious as you are.

Cultured and street smart, you can truly appreciate everything New York has to offer.

Are You an LA Girl or a NY Girl?

You Are 71% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word.

You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

How Creative Are You?

You Are 12% Spoiled

You are definitely not spoiled. You've worked hard for what you have.

Down to earth and grounded, you don't need a lot to make you happy.

Are You Spoiled?

American Cities That Best Fit You:

60% New York City

60% Philadelphia

55% Boston

55% Chicago

55% San Francisco

Which American Cities Best Fit You?

You Are Apple Pie

You're the perfect combo of comforting and traditional.

You prefer things the way you've always known them.

You'll admit that you're old fashioned, and you don't see anything wrong with that.

Your tastes and preferences are classic. And classic never goes out of style.

Those who like you crave security.

People can rely on you to be true to yourself - and true to them.

You're loyal, trustworthy, and comfortable in your own skin.

And because of these qualities, you've definitely earned a lot of respect.

What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes.

In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun.

You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it!

Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

You Are a Realist

You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass.

You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...

But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.

You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.

You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.

Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.

But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.

Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature

Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control

You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

You Have Good Manners 75% of the Time

Your manners are quite excellent. You are well versed in etiquette.

Of course you have the occasional slip up, but you even apologize with grace.

How Are Your Manners?

Your IQ Is 100

Your Logical Intelligence is Average

Your Verbal Intelligence is Above Average

Your Mathematical Intelligence is Above Average

Your General Knowledge is Exceptional

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

this is for ALEA.
http://www.blogthings.com/howindieareyouquiz/

手牵手

2008-05-20T00:17:00.005+08:00

这世界乍看之下有点灰
你微笑的脸有些疲惫
抬起头天空就要亮起来
不要放弃你的希望和期待
沙漠中的一滴泪
化成绿洲的湖水
真心若能被看见梦会实现
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃
这一切将会渡过
因为你和我才有明天的彩虹
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
这一刻不要躲在害怕后面
这个世界需要多一点信念
那尘埃不会真的将你打败
你将会意外生命的光采
风雨过去那一天
悲伤就要停下来
感觉你身边的爱它存在
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃
这一切将会渡过
因为你和我才有明天的彩虹
我的手握着温暖的火种
散发一点光和热就看到笑容
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃
这一切将会渡过
因为你和我才有明天的彩虹
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃这一切将会渡过
因为你和我才有明天的彩虹
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
手牵手一起渡过
爱永远在你左右
手牵手我的朋友
爱永远在你左右
不要再恐惧绝不要放弃
这一切将会渡过
牵着我的手看见明天的彩虹
手牵手我的朋友爱永远在你左右
手牵手一起渡过爱永远在你左右
手牵手我的朋友

Translations.:

At first glance, this world seems a little gray
Some of the smiling face are tired
Lift up your head as the sky will be lighting up
Do not give up your hopes and expectations
A tear in the desert
Transform into the desert's oasis.
You'll see your dreams really materialise
Hand in hand my friend
Love will be forever by your side
Do not fear and do not give up
All this will be through
Because you and I can see tomorrow's Rainbow
Hand in hand my friend
Love will forever by by your side
At this moment we can't hide behind fear
This world needs a little more conviction
The dust will not really be your defeat
Your life will be more radiant due to the accident
Wind and rain over the past day
Sadness will come to a halt
You feel the love of it around you
Hand in hand my friend
Do not fear and do not give up
All this will be through
Because you and I can see tomorrow's Rainbow
The warmth of the fire in my hands
Spreads a little light and warmth and a smile will be seen
Hand in hand my friend
Love will be forever by your side
Do not fear and do not give up
All this will be through
Because you and I can see tomorrow's Rainbow
Hand in hand my friend
Love will be forever by your side
Do not fear and do not give up
all this will be through
Because you and I can see tomorrow's Rainbow
Hand in hand my friend
Love will be forever by your side
Hand-in-hand together through
Love will be forever by your side
Hand in hand my friend
Love will be forever by your side
Do not fear and do not give up
All this will be through
Hold my hand and we shall see tomorrow's rainbow together
Hand-in-hand my friends love will forever be by your side
Hand-in-hand together we will pull through together because,
love will forever be by your side
Hand in hand my friend.....

--------------------------------------------

I know the song was written previously for SARS, but I felt that the song's meaning fits the current situation for the people in SiChuan now. It's an extremely inspirational song, a song that engulfs every aspect from emotional to physical needs for the victims and aiders.

A moment of Silence.

2008-05-18T23:48:00.005+08:00

Let us observe a moment of silence for the people in Sze Chuan and Myanmar.

I was reading up a little on the disaster and on the relief work that is being done. It brought back memories of me being involved in the relief work for The Asian Tsunami 2004. At least back then I done more than what I'm doing now. I wish I can do more than just looking and reading about the death toll and financial effect brought by the disaster.

World Vision Taiwan opened an account specially for the Earthquake in Sze Chuan. It is said to be the worst natural disaster to have hit China in over the past three decades. They have pledged 2Million USD to kick start the account and Lee-Hom himself made an initial deposit of 300mil NTW into the account too.

Donate to "王力宏四川賑災救援專戶"(Wang Leehom Sichuan Disaster Relief Account)

Looking at all the kids crying and reading about families being separated wretches my heart.

My prayers goes out to all of them, hopefully they will be able to reunite with their loved ones as soon as possible.

-----------------------------------
Be lucky that you are able to read this post. It means you have more than DAILY NECESSITIES.

Andrei, a 14-year-old boy from Romania, needs his father’s company at his age very much, but his father has gone to Italy to work for 5 years. He misses his father very much. And his best friend’s father has left for Iraqi to battle for half a year. Andrei knows a lot of children in Romania, just like them, whose fathers go abroad to work or serve in the army so they can make money to support the families. Because of his personal experiences, Andrei knows how hard life can be when the father is away. So on behalf of children in Romania and all over the world, he prayed to God to bring their fathers back home safely.

Andrei prayed, “Angel, I haven’t seen my father since he went away my mother says he is well and healthy but sometimes I can hear her crying at night. What if he never comes back? Angel please take my prayer to God and ask Him to end all wars and bring peace to Earth.

I want peace, Angel, because in peace can families be happy and children can grow up with their parents taking care of them. Please, Angel, don’t forget about me and take my message to God. I know that he will listen to my prayer and bring my father home safe.”

Vehid, ten-year-old boy from Bosnia and Herzegovina, likes to sit beside the lake to appreciate beautiful scenery. But he feels upset when he found garbage around the lake and the scenery of lake is not beautiful at all. So he is concerned about the issue of environmental protection and often prays to God to save the environment.

Vehid prayed, “I ask God to protect this lake. God, please, please recover environment and give chance to people to learn to love themselves first; then they will learn how to love the nature. Please, make them aware of importance to protect environment and give them strength to care.”

Vehid loves to play football and wishes to become a football player in the future. He said he will advocate for environmental protection when he becomes famous.

“I am praying for the peace in our country. I pray so that you will eliminate poverty. Please provide to the children that do not have clothes and food. I pray so that they can feel you in their hearts, and that they believe that you are with them everywhere,” prayed Fiorella, 12-year-old girl from EL Salvador.

She said, “All my prayers are from my heart. I believe everyone is born equal and has the same opportunity to have food and clothes. So I prayed to God for elimination of poverty.”

Fiorella prays for her sponsor every day. Her sponsor, Huang Hwei Myin, has sponsored her and helped her go to school for more than 2 years. Fiorella looks forward to meeting her sponsor and giving her thankfulness in person.

Jui-lin is a 13-year-old boy from Penghu, Taiwan. His life has been improved since he became a sponsored child of World Vision Taiwan. However he knows that a lot of children in the world have no food, clean water, education, and other essential things for life; therefore he prayed for these children in need.

He prayed, “Dear Lord Jesus, I know that many kids in other places around the world are too poor to go to school. Though hungry, they may not be full. Even when they get sick, they do not have money to go to the doctor. I pray that God would send many skillful adults to go to those countries and help them. Let them be able to go to school, not to be hungry and be able to go to the doctor. As I received help from others, I want to learn to have a helping heart to help others.”

Source

It touched my heart while reading it. I cried.

"Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.]"

Dear Lord, Please bless those who need you the most currently and show mercy to all. Shower them with love and protect them from harm; reunite them with their loved ones and shield them from all sufferings. Forgive them from their sins and rid them of their evil intentions. Amen.

My heart goes out to all of them. They will be in my daily prayers.

Happy Birthday Lee-Hom.

2008-05-17T23:51:00.002+08:00

Happy 32nd Birthday.

=))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Stats?!?!?!

2008-05-14T02:22:00.003+08:00

I NEED TO UNDERSTAND

AND COMPREHEND STATISTICS 1

WITHIN 24HOURS.

I'M DEAD.

Life goes on even for a laughingstock.

2008-05-07T22:48:00.009+08:00

Mocks week came and gone. Receiving the results is like getting hit by a train traveling at 210km/hour. REPEATEDLY.

I realise that I haven't been giving enough towards my studies. I hate the fact that I have an extremely high possibility of failing. I hate the fact even more that I know it, but haven't done anything to remedy it.

I have never given anything I dabbled in 100%, the times when I do, are stuffs that doesn't matter in life or aren't significant enough. The skills I have, aren't even sufficient enough to pull me through life. I might have to roll and beg along Petaling Street in the future to make ends meet. God, that is depressing.

Someone told me today that we shouldn't compare ourselves with other people, we should compare with ourselves and only ourselves. To some people, comparisons will allow them to achieve greater heights, others deem themselves worthless and useless; ending up being depress. Or, for some, they are just completely immune and couldn't careless about it.

I have always hated comparisons, I am an individual. However, as humans, we are never satisfied and are often hypocritical. I set crazy standards for myself jolly well knowing that I will not be able to achieve them in my lifetime. I compare myself to people who excel in everything they do, EFFORTLESSLY. True to my nature, I condemn myself for being all the vocabularies that starts or ends with either UN- or -LESS; and do NOTHING about it.

When I try extremely hard to excel in a single subject, and thought that I have done well when others said that they would fail, or they knew nothing about the question; reality would decide to prove me wrong. While getting the results, they would excel or even get full marks, where as me on the other hand, barely passed. I'm not jealous, complaining or whining, I'm genuinely happy for them; but I can't help feeling hurt, sad even useless. It is especially more evident when they ask about your marks, when you feel like hiding or incinerate that particular paper; it's like as though you are the jester of your common peers. Your job is to have people laugh at your STUPIDITY.

I'm not bitter at other people's smartness, but I'm bitter at my own (lack of) intelligence.

I'm a LAUGHINGSTOCK.

I'm extremely stressed. Even though I appear calm, relax and not bothered, I'm actually a bundle of nerves inside.

I'm afraid of failure. Not much of my future, but more of parents. My parents may not show that that actually expect a lot from me, but I know that they do. I do not want to fail them. Looking around me lately, it has finally hit me that I have nothing concrete planned for my future. People getting scholarships and being accepted to well-renowned institutes; securing a good foundation for their future, knowing exactly what they want to achieve in their life. It's like a slap in the face, I'm on a one way trip to Failure-land with unknown curbs and turns.

It's such a sad fact that how ones results(by how many As' one can achieve), degree of choice and where the degree is from matters to the eyes of the society and all. Education is about learning and gaining experiences and knowledge. It is a journey of both spiritually and physically. And not be driven by a common goal of being the richest or the smartest, or BOTH. Why has the society of today make it seem like a rat race that our lives depends on it? Yet, they question the increased rates of student suicide and depression. I wonder and question a lot about/on their sanity.

I'm happy for you all who know and have at least achieve a little of your future and ambitions. I wish you all the best.

I hate that I have nothing tangible of my future. Yet, I'm doing absolutely nothing about it. The every fact that I contradict myself, proves the malfunction of me as a person in life.

I hate that I'm such a disappointment and failure.

I hate that the rat race matters to me that much for me to write this post.

Plainly put,
My life is screwed up by choice.

If Life and it's Choices was a subject in college, I would most likely fail it with flying colours.

At the end of the day, no matter what,

LIFE GOES ON, like a never-ending cycle.

Substance Abuse.

2008-04-30T04:57:00.004+08:00

it's Wednesday, 4.30am.

and

yes, My life is ruin by Red Bull and Starbucks.

Actually, it's more like SUGAR & CAFFEINE.

damn, and I am yet to pass my twentieth birthday.

I should be studying for my Law mocks that is due in a little less than 5 hours.
but, my caffeine and sugar level is nearing red, hence,
I'm getting bored of staring at sections and sub-sections.

SHOOT ME.

Let's Make it a Hat-Trick!

2008-04-24T22:10:00.014+08:00

Tagged by Alea.

Compose a list of YOUR top ten MOST SEXIEST Famous guys.
Collect one picture of each guy on your list.
Post them in your journal.

(they are placed randomly and not in any preference)

Chris Wright.
He may not be sexy per-say, but he is by far one of the most talented musicians. Being only in his early twenties, he has managed to secure the title of being the BEST GUITARIST in AUSTRALIA. He played for Lee-Hom on his HOE concert and performed in the Jazz music Fest '06 in KL.

Chad Micheal Murray.
Ok. He caught my eyes in One Tree Hill, at least then he was still hot. However, after he had some distasteful flings......... no, he is still quite acceptable.

Jared Padalecki.
He is the cute/smart brother from Supernatural!! ah, I like his intense/friendly aura.

Matthew Fox.
He was a Brown/Columbia University student (I forgot which one... XD) when his then girlfriend's mum persuaded him to join the modeling career. And, now, he is on television for all eyes to drool.

George Clooney.
Need I say more? He is just one of those timeless guy epitome. He ages ever so gracefully. Damn. Sarah Larson is just so lucky.

Orlando Bloom.
I'll have to go with Alea on this. He is too pretty. Whoever marries him and have his children will be blessed with Fantastic looking children and a fat allowance.

Ashton Kutcher.
Yes. The Guardian guy! I never really found him particularly hot until that movie anyway. However, he was just eye-candy in the movie. Demmi is so lucky.

Kevin Costner.
Damn. He is so fine for his age. I must say he was really charming in "Message in a bottle" and "The Guardian". Muahaha, I have two of my favourite actors in the SAME movie.

*drool* *drool*

Pierce Brosnan.
Gosh, if Irish blood can produce such a specimen, I wouldn't mind wearing green, eating pork crackle, haggis and drinking Baileys/Stout/Poteen everyday! He is my favourite BOND. No one, I mean NO ONE can replace him.

Keanu Reeves.
Come on, just drool. I know he is just H-O-T. However, I must say that his facial expressions a little too limited though. but, it is his stoic expression that attracts me.

--------------------------------------------------

now, you all must have been shock that I didn't include dearest Wang Lee-Hom into the list. It is because he is in a lee-ague by himself. XP

UNTOUCHABLE.

His Fossil advertisement.
I will gladly wear my Fossil watch everyday because of him. I love him in ALL BLACK. It's just so sexy. Oh, and did I mention I love his swept down n' aside hair?? I JUST LOVE it this way, but please, NO FLIPS.

In 2006 Golden Melody Awards, he brought his little brother - Lee-Kai with him.
They both look really suave, especially Lee-Hom himself. The best way to dress, is to clad in a full black suit with minimal accessories and a little brother that studies in MIT. H-O-T.

MTV ASIA Awards 2006.
Wee, He co-hosted the awards show with Kelly Rowland. I must say he looks pretty good in this Dior Homme Suit, the funky coloured tie plays well with the traditional suit to give a less formal feel for the ceremony.

This should be back in 2003/04.
His hair was still slightly brown. He even looks adorable in specs. Maybe I'm just bias, I wouldn't mind guys in specs. However, I must say, for a guy who doesn't bother much about his dressing, he is rather diligent in the way he dresses. Minimalistic is the way to accessories and dress.
*on a side note, the lady on the left, has made major fashion faux pas(es). Urgh, she uses roadkill as a jacket, animal skin/print as a shirt and on a cap. she ought to be shot. where's PETA when you need them?*

I think this was back in 2005 due to the smaller and less intricate dragon cleft.
Oh gosh, a body like his, it would be a sin to cover up. All you need is a necklace, a bracelet and a couple rings, voilà! MALE PERFECTION.

This would be in the launching of his "Change Me" album in 2007.
He somehow always manages to look good in everything, especially in suits. Even though this isn't a classic suit, but it suits him extremely well. The bandanna and jeans makes the outfit informal and more down-to-earth feel.

From the Heroes of Tokyo's Photobook, shot in 2006.
OMG. HOTNESS. We're not worthy. Like I've said, with a body like that, it should be a sin to cover up.

From the same book.
This one is for ALEA. Nah! the emo, pain, intense hurt look you have been looking for..
God. He IS male perfection.

weeee...

2008-04-23T21:26:00.002+08:00

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................

It's MOCKS week!

Meme No.2! The Seven Things.

2008-04-13T00:57:00.003+08:00

by Lynn.

Seven Things That Scares You.

Losing the people I love.
The unpredictability of LIFE.
Waking up and being unable to do daily things that I take for granted.
Going bald. (seriously, I'm more a afraid of going bald than being obese.)
Baking a FAILED cake. ( I get extremely upset baking something that fails.)
Failing in LIFE.
Losing my liberty.

Seven Things That You Like The Most.

Music.
My family members. (even though they can be a pain sometimes.)
Being TRILINGUAL.
BAKING.
My friends.
Lazy Saturday afternoons with a good book in the bed.
FOOD. I love FOOD. (Lee-hom loves food too...)

Seven Random Facts About You.

I ABHOR math to death. (I don't see the logic in dy/dx-ing)
I LOVE Physics.
I LOVE shopping. (even window-shopping)
I cook really random food. (I never plan my course before cooking.)
I have TWO pre-auricular pits. (wiki it if you don't know what it is.)
I have TERRIBLE mood-swings. (my friends can testify for this.)
I have a terrible fetish for LONG EYE LASHES. ( I love long lashes.)

Seven Things You Plan To Do Before You Die.

GET TO KNOW LEE-HOM PERSONALLY.
Live happily married with children.
Travel to as many places as possible.
Finish my studies, and get my Masters.
Continue in my volunteering service.
Be more aware of the environmental and repay Mother Earth by helping to raise the awareness.
Have a higher Self-Esteem.

Seven Things You Can Do.

Bake and cook.
Draw and Paint.
Lazing and slacking around.
Speak, Write and Read Mandarin.
Seek for sponsorship(?)
Raise one eyebrow at a time(?) (I suck. XD)
Be a pessimist, realist and a SELF-CRITIC.

Seven Things You Can't Do.

COMPREHEND MATH. (tell me the logic in Math.)
To be an Optimist.
To resist good cakes/desserts.
Going through a session of History Class without nodding off. (History is the subject that is the fastest way to bore me.)
Write(?) (I really don't know, I can't seem to transfer my thoughts to my pen sometime.)
Pronouncing the word "F-I-L-M" (my friends can attest to it. XD)
Touch my toes. (heeeeee........)

Seven Things That Attracts You To The Opposite sex.
(wait, I already did a post on this sometime ago.)

Their SMILE. (A nice and charming smile.)
Their FEATURES. (Let's be logically here, it's looks that attracts us first. Nice eyes and good body proportions would be GREAT. THINK LEE-HOM.)
Their social graces. (Good etiquettes and gentlemanly.)
Their intelligence and conversational skills. (Being able to hold a proper conversation, doesn't need to have an IQ of 200.)
Their EQ. (Good judgement of emotions and the surroundings. The bravery of being SENSITIVE and EMOTIONAL.)
Their dress sense. (Good dressing would be attractive. Picture, blue jeans and white dress shirt.)
The ability to COOK and WASH. (Now, that is a PLUS POINT. It would be perfect if a guy could do the cooking every once in a while. XD)

Think Lee-Hom. XP

Seven Things You Say The Most.

huh?
Haha/heehee.
grrrrr/urgh.
I'm Ugly.
damn.
Shit/Shoot.
I suck. ( I really do.)
lee-hom. (XD)

Seven Celebrities Crushes.

LEE-HOM Wang.
Matthew Fox.
Shawn Ashmore.
DJ Dennis Au.
Prince William.
Jesse McCartney.
Josh Hartnett.

No.3 up until No.7 were random crushes I had a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time ago.

weeee..... One more to go. hahaha.

MEME!!!! I have been tagged!

2008-04-12T21:34:00.004+08:00

by Qabir.

List a dozen songs that you think have some of the best written lyrics around(not necessarily most meaningful, but well-written.) Ranking is optional. List your favourite line or phrase from each song. Not more than 1 song per artiste/band, and only English songs (no translations allowed.).

ok. Here goes, randomly.

1) Nature - Lee-Hom Wang.

"Nature is believing, our dreams will never die. We laugh and we cry, and live our lives, and never realise. We think that we know, but take a look around us, life around us dies....."

2) Undiscovered - James Morrison.

"We're never alone we're all the same as each other, You see the look that's on my face and might think that I'm out of place, I'm not lost, Just UNDISCOVERED."

3) Walk on - U2.

"What you got, they can't steal it, No they can't even feel it.."
"What you got, they can't deny it, Can't sell it or deny it.."
"Leave it behind
You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme... "

4) Imagine - John Lennon.

"You may say that I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."
"No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all people, Sharing all the world.."

5)Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt.

"Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun."
" You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take."

6) Your Song - Elton John.

"I know it's not much but it's the best I can do, My gift is my song and this one's for you."

7) A Different Beat - Boyzone.

"We are but grains of sand, Born through the winds of time, given a special sign.."

8) Through Heaven's Eyes - Brian Stokes Mitchell.

"How can you see what your life is worth Or where your value lies? You can never see through the eyes of man, You must look at your life through heaven's eyes."

9) Northern Star - Melissa C.

"They tried to catch a falling star, thinking she has gone too far."
"Don't look back and don't succumb to their lies and goodbyes. Live your life without regret. Don't be someone who they forget. When you're lost reach out for me."

10) Beautiful - Christina Aguilera.

"Every day is so wonderful, And suddenly, it's hard to breathe, Now and then, I get insecure, From all the pain, I'm so ashamed."

11) See Who I Am - Within Temptations.

"Is it true what they say, Are we too blind to find a way? Fear of the unknown clouds our hearts today."
"We've been dreaming, But who can deny, It's the best way of living. Between the truth and the lies."
"Free our minds and find a way. The world is in our hands, This is not the end."

12) Light of My Life - Lara Fabian and Lee-Hom Wang (i swear, it's not intentional)

"Your love's a lantern in the rain, Bringing me home time and again, Burning like an eternal flame.."

I know, my choice of music is extremely bad. XP.
I have another 2 tags to catch up.

"There'd be sunshine in everyone's sky
If the day ever dawned when I ruled the world"
- Tony Bennett, "If I Ruled The World."

it's all good.

2008-04-08T22:57:00.003+08:00

I HATE MY LIFE.

I SCREW UP MY OWN LIFE BY CHOICE.

It's all good.

To get to know you.

2008-03-29T23:09:00.004+08:00

I can't stop looking in your eyes,
But my words don't come out straight,
I don't know what to say.
On Monday, I tell myself you gotta wait,
No.. Don't rush it. Don't anticipate,
Take it slowly, it's ok. It's ok.

I just want a chance to know you, to know
the person deep inside,
I don't wanna look back on life
to see this missed opportuinity
Yea, to get to know you
even at the risk of looking like a fool to you.

On Wednesday, I casually walk on by
to find that you're not there,
I act like I don't care. Like I don't care.
But, on Friday, I catch a glimpse of you
I tell myself
"Don't hesitate, You just walk up and say Hello! Say Hello."

I just want a chance to know you, to know
the person deep inside,
and, I don't want to look back on life
to see this missed opportunity.
yea, to get to know you.
Even at the risk of looking like a fool to you.

Will you ever know how I feel deep inside?

FINALLY

2008-03-25T16:48:00.004+08:00

yes, I'm finally back. ahahaha, it's not like I have plenty of readers, but it's still my obligation to update for my very few readers. Anyway, the MAIN reason for my absence is not because of my laziness nor my college work, but..... it's because of our darn RELIABLE
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
S-T-R-E-A-M-Y-X.

However, after all the calling and threats it's fine now and as you can see I'm blogging. :P

----------------------------------

Ok. First thing first, yes results were out like god-knows weeks ago. I didn't do as bad/good as expected. However, I'm contented with some papers but disappointed with some. The real shocker would be my Eng Lit U2(the Frankie paper) which I got a 90/90. 0.O *nuff said. I'll be sitting for 13papers this time. wow.

----------------------------------

Now, for some random other updates in my mundane-non-existing-unrealistic-ordinary life.

I FREAKING WANT MY ED HARDY HOODIE.

*cries* I really really really want it, but damn you streamyx, I lost my bid on my jacket because I couldn't monitor it. argh, I HATE YOU streamyx.

I really need to lose some weight.

I think I've been binging way way WAY too much. Seriously. You have no idea how much weight I have put on. T.T I need to lose weight, but I wonder would crapping help me lose any weight? haha.

Oooo, I really can't wait for the end of this month.

You want to know why? heeheehee, my books that I have ordered from Kinokuniya would have arrived!!!! weeeeee!!!!!!

I got a better phone.

but guess what, it's the same phone I lost last year. @_@ yeah, the 9300i nokia communicator. The freaking fat chunky phone. Why does my dad like to torture me?

Lee-hom is involved in the Beijing Olympics 2008 Pass the Torch event.

weeeee... dammit, I wished I was in Greece during the weekend. He was there, in Athens.

Liu Hongliang(L), academician of the Chinese Academy of Engineering and the son of China's first Olympic athlete Liu Changchun, and musician Wang Lee-hom display the torch during a ceremony held in Beijing, capital of China, March 21, 2008. They will set out on Friday to Greece's Olympia to participate in the Olympic torch relay.
76-year old Liu Hongliang is not only an environmental expert, but also the son of Liu Changchun, China's first athlete to take part in the Olympics.

Weee.... Lee-hom finally had a haircut.

NO MORE FLIPS in the hair... weee...

oooo.. Zhang Zi Yi apparently gotten married/engaged secretly with her beau, Vivi Nevo. She met Lee-hom in Athens and spoke about their movies and caught up a little. In addition, according to some sources, her English has improved tremendously that she could converse in eloquent English with Lee-hom. Lee-hom on the other hand speaks fluent English and kept praising her on her improvement. I suppose you ought to at least have a certain degree in understanding English to marry a guy who might not understand your mother tongue. right?

She looks rather pretty here.

It's another 135days to Beijing Olympics!

Woo-Hoo!! Be proud that you are Chinese and the fact that an Asian country is more than capable to host a World Class Sports Event!!
"Light the passion, pass the dream from Olympia!"
"Light the passion, share the dream."
"One world, One dream."

The mascots are so C-U-T-E!!!

Jingjing makes children smile -- and that's why he brings the blessing of happiness wherever he goes. You can see his joy in the charming naivety of his dancing pose and the lovely wave of his black and white fur. As a national treasure and a protected species, pandas are adored by people everywhere. The lotus designs in Jingjing's headdress, which are inspired by the porcelain paintings of the Song Dynasty (A.D.960-1234), symbolize the lush forest and the harmonious relationship between man and nature. Jingjing was chosen to represent our desire to protect nature's gifts -- and to preserve the beauty of nature for all generations. Jingjing is charmingly naïve and optimistic. He is an athlete noted for strength who represents the black Olympic ring.

Every spring and summer, the children of Beijing have flown beautiful kites on the currents of wind that blow through the capital. Among the kite designs, the golden-winged swallow is traditionally one of the most popular. Nini's figure is drawn from this grand tradition of flying designs. Her golden wings symbolize the infinite sky and spread good-luck as a blessing wherever she flies. Swallow is also pronounced "yan" in Chinese, and Yanjing is what Beijing was called as an ancient capital city. Among Fuwa, Nini is as innocent and joyful as a swallow. She is strong in gymnastics and represents the green Olympic ring.

Those two are my favourite. :P
The Paralympics's mascot is rather cute too...
IT'S A COW!!!

Don't worry, I'm not going cuckoo, just a little unwell. It's the weather.

Anyway, peace.

On goings

2008-03-09T11:23:00.005+08:00

I don't want to spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted.

I don't wanna keep on wishing, missing
But still every morning the colour of the night
I ain't spending no more of my time
Wasted.

------------------------

Results are out tomorrow. Happiness to the world. --___--
I really do not know how would the results will turn out. It's either I do extremely badly, or I do fantastically. (wonders why I didn't study hard enough before sitting for the exams.) well, I'm just silently hoping and praying I don't do that badly. As long as I can get a decent A I'm fine.

On the brightside, I might *just might* be getting an Ed Hardy hoody. Yes! the stupid cult brand from US that costs like some freaking RM700 to RM1050 here in Malaysia but only costs around 89USD to 400USD in the US. *prays hard that ebay doesn't fail me* 'cause, ebay is so much more cheaper. Cheaper than what it retails.

In addition, I might *just might**crosses finger**prays extremely hard* be getting my new phone by next weekend, that is provided my parents won't change their plans suddenly AGAIN. It's been three times that they told me they were coming up, then calls the night before canceling the plan. I'm so sad and angry at them at the same time. I miss home so badly.

Genius?

2008-03-02T11:57:00.005+08:00

If you are able to understand and comprehend my blog, YOU'RE A GENIUS.

ahaha, no, I'm not boasting nor am I self-imposing that I'm a genius(though I wouldn't mind being one) but I was blog surfing and I found this website that rates the blog's standard. I highly think it's inaccurate because I checked out other sites that I thought were highly intellectual, it proved me wrong. Then again, it's just another irrelevant, inconclusive test, hence it shouldn't be taken seriously.

----------------------------------

Last Wednesday, Balqis, Jennifer and I went for the Backstreet Boys Unbreakable Tour. It was held at Sunway Surf Beach. The experience wasn't that bad minus the getting wet in the line due to rain, squeezing with masses of people, getting cut in queue and the terrible organizers. (should have learned my lesson after the Leehom's showcase, which I think I didn't remember to blog about it but I did recorded it on video.) Anyway, everything was forgotten when Jenn nearly fainted and the organizers, RELA and the St. John people helped us out. WE GOT INTO THE VIP SECTION. haha. So, basically we manage to enjoy the last 1hour plus of the concert in the VIP section and I managed to take perfect up close shots of the boys. The boys didn't really changed much and all of them performed a song or two from their solo projects. Howie's song was terrible but the other 3 wasn't that bad. Brian was the best among the all. Pictures will be up as soon as I get the photos from Jenn.

does love exists

2008-02-25T22:28:00.008+08:00

爱你,
不是因为你的美而已

我越来越爱你,
每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见forever
才了解自己,
未来这些日子
要好好珍惜

爱我,
有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我
不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风神奇
温柔的安撫,
我的不安定
所以我要
每天研究你的笑容
Wo~~
多么自然

Forever love forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后,
你会是所有
幸福的理由

爱情, 是场最美最远的旅行
沿途雨季泥濘
偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里
像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化
我的不安定

不可思议
证明我爱你的理由
WO
多么自然
你感动的眼睛,
我沉默的声音,
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
I love you ~~
直到永远
oh
Forever love, forever love, forever love..

Translation:

Oh… Loving you
Is not just because of your beauty

I love you more and more
Each expression in your eyes touches my heart
Because you have allowed me to see forever
Only then do I come to an understanding of myself
These days in the future
Must be cherished

Loving me
Is somewhat painful
Somewhat unfair
If you truly love me
It is not an only natural and proper decision
Sensing your breathe by my ears
Like a magical breeze
Gentle and soft appeasement
My instability

Therefore I… Need
To study your smile each day
Ooh… So natural…

Forever love, Forever love, Forever love
I only want to take my whole life to love you
From this day forward…
You will be all
Reasons for happiness…

Love is the most beautiful, most distant journey
Along the way, muddy rainy seasons
Occasionally hinder our advancement
Sensing your body temperature within my embrace
Like genial sunshine
Ingeniously melting
My instability

Inconceivable
Proving my reasons for loving you
Ooh… So natural
Forever love, forever love, forever love
Your touched eyes (your touched)
My silent voice (my silent…)
Seems like the best proof
Just let me say it one more time I love you oh
oh… (Until forever) Oh

Forever love (Forever love) Forever love (Forever love)
I only want to take my whole life to love you
From this day forward…
You will be all
Reasons for happiness…
Forever love Forever love… Forever love..

- Forever Love, Wang Lee-Hom.

This song is a song that actually has a positive outlook on love. Lee-Hom is still believer in true love and hoped that this song would be able inspire people to keep the faith. The fact that he chose to write such a song, and dedicated it to his EX for her engagement/wedding, sort of inspires the love birds out there, i supposed he didn't realize that in reality, forever love doesn't really exist. Probably he didn't read Larkin.

However, I loved the way he phrases certain sentences, "Love is the most beautiful, most distant journey" and "Like genial sunshine". It is extremely true that love is the most beautiful and most distant journey, it takes a toll both on the mental and physical being of a person. It takes fantastic amount of time, patiences and strength to make something work between two different beings. The union between to beings is one of the most beautiful and joyous experience for a person. He likens a loved one's embrace to a "genial sunshine"; it's a warm and friendly feeling. Something extremely comforting; a desire for one to receive from anyone they love or care for. An embrace (mentally or physically) is something valuable but at the same time doesn't cost us anything, only sincerity. It is possible to differentiate a real and sincere hug from a light tap on the shoulder kind of hug. Same goes to the smile of a person. It's in his/her eyes, not in the kiss. Even, he couldn't deny the fact that the eyes are the window into someone's thoughts - "Your touched eyes... Seems like the best proof", and the fact that he wants to study her smile everyday of his life, proves to us how strongly a smile from someone can tell us plenty of a person's thoughts/feelings.

However, being the damn stupid idiotic realist me, I would rebuttal the fact that forever love will never exist. What you see is just a facade of a daily to daily life of people. If he read "An Arundel Tomb", he would definitely change his mind on the concept of love. Love is just another four letter word. Love is definitely there, but not to the extend that it blinds a person completely. After all, people lie; i might say i love you, but in two weeks, we might break up. see? What is real, will never be able to be sugar coated. I will leave you with Larkin's poem - Sunny Prestatyn.

Come to Sunny Prestatyn

Laughed the girl on the poster,
Kneeling up on the sand
In tautened white satin.
Behind her, a hunk of coast, a
Hotel with palms
Seemed to expand from her thighs and
Spread breast-lifting arms.

She was slapped up one day in March.
A couple of weeks, and her face
Was snaggle-toothed and boss-eyed;
Huge tits and a fissured crotch
Were scored well in, and the space
Between her legs held scrawls
That set her fairly astride
A tuberous cock and balls

Autographed Titch Thomas, while
Someone had used a knife
Or something to stab right through
The moustached lips of her smile.
She was too good for this life.
Very soon, a great transverse tear
Left only a hand and some blue.
Now Fight Cancer is there.

Larkin's most inspired quote, "Life is slow dying."

8 bored Lit students waiting for their 4-6 lit class.

2008-02-23T21:52:00.003+08:00

Economics Class with Purple Tissue Paper that Wishes To Be White, alongside Images of Half-Sunburnt Hobbits, in Hawaiian outfits and straw hats under a coconut palm.

Hair on a building's face
Withered as it leaned towards me.
So did the cow.

I strung my guitar on a horse's back.
I betrayed the world.

I question my humanity.
We should all go for salsa classes.
The throne of madness revolves.

And gold is the sand on which all humanity walks,
While time against them stalks.
I need a new watch.

As I gazed at the stars and moon,
The seven deadly sins were tattooed on my neck,
Sunshine is my ecstasy.

I shall eat Molten Lava Chocolate Cake on my First Night.

Love is but a many splendored falsification of life,
Seen through the "click" of shut spectacles,
Used on many occasions to stab the wife
Many times, repeatedly.

Like a nightmare
He of the sparkling eyes is out of my reach
Like the glint of the dagger in her hand;
I want to run.
The overgrown moose of my dreams is chasing me,
A coarse coat and coarse mind on limbs.

You've shown us your performance, now we'll show you the door.

The grass on her pillow never sleeps,
As the smell of brownies and fudge slices fill the air;
I will meet you in Dis, the city of heretics.
Couture and croissants along Champs d'Elysses.

Like flowers withering away,
Oh screw this - I'm off to play pool.

- Timothy Weiyan Lynn Steff BinLi Alea Shameen Qabir.
19 February, 2008.

This poem was written randomly from an impromptu game of robin by us, while waiting for our 4-6pm lit class.
Try guessing which lines were written by who.
btw, the title is supposed to be made longer by each post, being the fourth to post it, it is LONGER.

aches and pains.

2008-02-18T23:16:00.004+08:00

My knees are killing me.

I think I might have premature rheumatoid arthritis. It feels like my knee joints are on fire inside and it really cold when touched on the outside. Sounds like some inflammatory problem. In addition, with the bad weather, it's terrible waking up in the morning or sitting at a particular position for too long or being in a cold room.

Maybe I MIGHT go see a doctor, but for now, I will just have to bear with the pain, PAINKILLERS, or LAUGHING GAS might just do the trick. hahahaha.

Homework is piling up. =/ unseen poetry and Mechanics. HELP!

Randomness

2008-02-17T16:06:00.007+08:00

it's a new term, new faces, new challenges and new decisions.
college has started. the most tough and challenging term has started. with that, new decisions to make, it's either i make it or break it. A52s reminded me of my 1st term in college, being in the post SPM mood and getting to know the people and environment around. EXPLORATION.

----------------------------------------------------

I have come to believe that people mature in isolation. Isolation, being along with one's thoughts can be a form of meditation and enlightenment. Perhaps one matures when he/she realizes that he/she is ultimately alone in this world, and that he/she must take responsibility for his/her own life, because no one else will. Physically being alone speeds up this realization. Like Tom Hanks in "Castaway". I believe in building from the ground up, whether it be corporate models, orchestra scores, or interpersonal relationships. For example, one needs to learn to love himself before being able to love others. One needs to be able to live in harmony with himself before being able to live together with another person. I guess if I look at it that way, I sure am leading the life these days, becoming a secure individual. (yeah right.) I do not think I'm extremely secure, but I am on my way of dealing with myself.

I have been slightly homesick ever since I came back up to KL. I saw my mum tearing up and hiding behind a signboard (dumb, i saw it even if you were trying desperately to hide from me.). I have never been really close to my mum, only recent two years, after I came up to KL, I started being closer to my mum.

A friend "interviewed" me a few days ago, he asked me whether I enjoyed living by myself here in KL. Frankly, it's a little of both. I missed coming home to have food prepared for me, clothes washed and ironed nicely for me and being chauffeured everywhere. However, I have most definitely gained independence, learned how to wash my toilet and do my laundry. I loved being here by myself, exploring and gaining experiences that you can only do it when living alone; however, there is that slight wrench in the heart whenever I see my college friends being with their parents.

The worst part is being sick and not having anyone to take care of you but yourself! I have been sick countless of time up in KL and most of the time, I seriously wished I was either back home in JB or my mother would be up here. Like right now, I'm having wisdom tooth problems and some toothaches. I would really like to go visit a dentist, but it's too expensive and I do not know dentist in KL. Anyone would like to recommend me one? Please do so. thanks. (probably this could be my excuse to go back to JB...)

Side tracking, I have to sign up for my exams by tmrw, and guess what? I'll be signing up for 15papers, but i might not be sitting for 15 papers. Ain't it funny? Edexcel expects us to sign up papers which we don't even know our results. urgh. It'll be a total of RM3000. an extremely freaking big amount for papers. oh and i have given up looking out for people.

----------------------------------------------------

on a lighter note, ain't this baby the cutest. eyes so big and round, cheeks that just calls you to pinch and bite. urgh.... I want a baby just like that, but in order to succeed, I would need to have a Caucasian husband. ish.

A post delayed.

2008-01-27T20:25:00.003+08:00

A post delayed.
by 3 days.

I forgot to say,

A VERY HAPPY Belated BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF.

yes, I'm 19th. This year will be officially my last lap in my Teen-hood.
next year, it's 2-O.

my birthday cake... from JustHeavenly. =]

thank you everyone who attended my birthday party and making it ever so special.

請留住你的腳步

2008-01-13T22:06:00.000+08:00

我知道你離去的時候
wǒ zhī dào nǐ lí qù de shí hòu
I know that as you leave

你會在車窗內對著我揮揮手
nǐ huì zài chē chuāng nèi duì zhe wǒ huī huī shǒu
You will be waving to me from the car window

這滋味不好受　
zhè zī wèi bù hǎo shòu
The feeling doesn't feel right

想叫你不要走可是我難開口　只好搖頭
xiǎng jiào nǐ bú yào zǒu kě shì wǒ nán kāi kǒu zhī hǎo yáo tóu
Feeling like asking you not to leave but it's hard to say hence I turn my head

我知道天黑了以後
wǒ zhī dào tiān hēi le yǐ hòu
Eventhough once the sky darkens

我仍然會在這街頭眺望和等候
wǒ réng rán huì zài zhè jiē tóu tiào wàng hé děng hòu
I will still be by the corner hoping and waiting

這滋味不好受　
zhè zī wèi bù hǎo shòu
It doesn't feel right

天亮了你要走天黑了你也要走只好搖頭
tiān liàng le nǐ yào zǒu tiān hēi le nǐ ye yào zǒu zhī hǎo yáo tóu
You will leave even as the sky brightens or darkens, I could only turn my head

請留住　請你留住　　
qǐng liú zhù qǐng nǐ liú zhù
Please leave, Could you please leave

請留住請你留住你的腳步你的腳步
qǐng liú zhù qǐng nǐ liú zhù nǐ de jiǎo bù nǐ de jiǎo bù
Please leave, could you please leave your footprints, your footprints

想握住你的手　這是我的祈求　請你別走
xiǎng wò zhù nǐ de shǒu zhè shì wǒ de qí qiú qǐng nǐ bié zǒu
I want to hold your hands, that is all I wish, please don't leave

我知道你離去的時候
wǒ zhī dào nǐ lí qù de shí hòu
I know that as you leave

你會在車窗內對著我揮揮手
nǐ huì zài chē chuāng nèi duì zhe wǒ huī huī shǒu
You will be waving to me from the car window

這滋味不好受　
zhè zī wèi bù hǎo shòu
It doesn't feel right

想要你不要走可是我難開口　只好搖頭
xiǎng yào nǐ bú yào zǒu kě shì wǒ nán kāi kǒu zhī hǎo yáo tóu
Feeling like asking you not to leave but it's hard to say hence I turn my head

我知道天黑了以後
wǒ zhī dào tiān hēi le yǐ hòu
Even though once the sky darkens

我仍然會在街頭眺望和等候
wǒ réng rán huì zài jiē tóu tiào wàng hé děng hòu
I will still be by the corner hoping and waiting

這滋味不好受　
zhè zī wèi bù hǎo shòu
It doesn't feel right

天黑了你要走天亮了你也要走只好搖頭
tiān hēi le nǐ yào zǒu tiān liàng le nǐ ye yào zǒu zhī hǎo yáo tóu
You will leave as the sky darkens or brightens, I could only turn my head

請留住　請你留住　　
qǐng liú zhù qǐng nǐ liú zhù
Please leave, could you please leave

請留住請你留住你的腳步你的腳步
qǐng liú zhù qǐng nǐ liú zhù nǐ de jiǎo bù nǐ de jiǎo bù
Please leave, could you please leave your footprints, your footprints

想握住你的手　這是我的祈求　請你別走
xiǎng wò zhù nǐ de shǒu zhè shì wǒ de qí qiú qǐng nǐ bié zǒu
I want to hold your hand, that is all i wish, please don't leave

想握住你的手　這是我的祈求　請你別走
xiǎng wò zhù nǐ de shǒu zhè shì wǒ de qí qiú qǐng nǐ bié zǒu
I want to hold your hand, that is all i wish, please don't leave

想握住你的手　這是我的祈求　請你別走
xiǎng wò zhù nǐ de shǒu zhè shì wǒ de qí qiú qǐng nǐ bié zǒu
I want to hold your hand, that is all i wish, please don't leave

*****************

I have fallen in love with this song. It was originally a fast-paced song( which i have yet to listen to it.) written by 馬兆駿 (Ma Zhao Jun) performed by 刘文正 (Liu Wen Zheng), but the version I heard was a slow-rock version re-arranged by Leehom. He performed it at Ma Zhao Jun's Remembrance Concert, MZJ passed away last year during the week of Chinese New Year when he fell down the stage, suffering a heart-attack.

He(MZJ) has written fantastic songs throughout his career as a singer/song writer/ composer and helped a number of artist to break into the music scene [ i.e Teresa Teng]. Especially this particular song, "請留住你的腳步" was one of his prime works as a singer/writer. It's such a beautiful song, even though heart wrenching, but ultimately beautiful. Leehom did this song justice as so many renditions of this song has been made(I have heard a couple), this by far is the best. I am not saying this because I enjoy Leehom's music, but he really did this song justice.

Anyway, why in the world did I blog about him when I had every intention to blog about something else which I have lost along the way trying to translate the song... oh well, I will blog some other day.

Resolutions.

2008-01-07T12:56:00.000+08:00

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart,

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What’s inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know

Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
who I am inside.

- "Reflections", Christina Aguilera.

I had always liked this song and felt some attachment towards it. This song really describes me, last year.

Last year, was a year of discovery, a year of change and a year of maturing. Some people say I have changed, others say otherwise. I say, I have changed very little, probably so minute that it doesn't show. I have learned a lot last year. I have learned to see people in different perspective and learned to judge myself. Lessons thought to me by life and the experience gain and engraved in me will not be lost (hopefully).

I have made plenty of mistakes last year. However, mistakes don’t mean failure. It will only fail when you fail to realize it and blame someone else for it. Growing up is all about making mistakes and learning from it. After all, self realization is the most valuable lesson one can ever learn in their life. Besides, reality makes life more interesting, doesn't it? It is only sad when you make it sad.

I want to look forward to a year (and hopefully the years to come) with less "If only I....” And move on from the mistakes I made. Clinging on to the mistakes we make will only make us bitterer. Learn to let go.

Last year, I have learned that being together doesn't mean being together. Sometimes, being a part means being apart. Friendship come and goes, even the tightest among all bond will break. As the saying goes, "distance makes the heart grow fonder". A strong friendship will stand the test of time. It doesn't need any meeting up every time I go back to re-solidify the relationship. (Please, grow up. you know who you are. Just because I make time for someone else doesn't mean You matter any less to me.)

I want to look forward to a year with less drama and more serenity; a year of peace and calmness for my finals.

Last year, I saw failed relationships and new relationships. 365 days of being single made me understand value my single hood more. Some people may rush into a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. Some just want the companionship for the fear of being alone. I want to be in a relationship because of the other half. However, to love someone and to put my heart and soul in a bond with someone else, I must learn to love myself first.

I want to look forward to a year of soul-searching and understanding myself. Putting myself before others and loving myself, knowing that I am WORTH IT.

Last year, I understood that sometimes being incomplete is often as good as being complete. Even the most perfect person in this world is incomplete (at least that is what I like to think). Life moves in a circle. If the journey takes an unexpected pit stop, it doesn't mean it is a dead end. Someone will come along to lift you and offer you a helping hand to continue that journey. It may just be the signal in life to slow things down. We often search for the perfection in life, but at times, being imperfect is perfect. It gives us the spice and colour in life, uniqueness.

I want to look forward to a year of "uniqueness". Take a pit stop and smell the flowers along the way. If life throws you lemons, you make lemonade.

Last year, I realized that I did not open my eyes wide enough to see and experience the world that is surrounding me. I was so engross to fix everything that I thought was wrong with me and scrutinizing everything about me that I failed to realize the person I am and the people around me. The people that surround me are great people. They are a group of diverse people and to some may be slightly eccentric, but ultimately fantastic. I love them plenty.

I want to look forward to a year of spending quality time with them and creating memories that I can carry throughout my lifetime. I want to open my eyes and experience whatever life throws at me with the people I care and love.

-----------------------------------

I just realized that I was actually making a New Year resolution (without intending so, and being extremely late in writing one). Anyway, I know I hardly keep any of my resolutions, but this time I will TRY. I don't think what I wrote above was any super-duper-umber hard to keep, so I will TRY.

I failed to add that, I want to look forward to a healthy year for all. According to nenek, she said that half the time she meets me; I'm either down with a flu or sore throat or with some allergy reaction. So, I sincerely hope that I have a healthy year ahead and it's going to start with having a healthy lifestyle. Eat more fruits and veggie and drinking more water. That goes for the people around me too.

Oh, and I'm super late for the update on my Christmas celebration with friends. Anyway, that will be up soon (I hope). Exams are coming... so there may be some back log.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

2007-12-24T01:12:00.000+08:00

Have a blessed and merry Christmas! Happy New Year to all, may all your wishes come true.

Love,

Steff

world.

2007-12-08T00:20:00.000+08:00

According to the latest UNICEF report, Nigeria is at the top of the list, with the world’s highest number of malnourished children. Out of 146 million children all over the world, Africa alone houses nearly 73% of them, which also includes Nigeria. Precisely, Nigeria has about 6 million malnourished children. Despite Nigeria’s vast agricultural production and its rich heritage of oil, the corrupt rule and mismanagement has pushed the children of the nation into a dark future.

African children are among those underprivileged ones who are dying every single day due to countless problems surrounding them: right from AIDS, child labour, child abuse to poverty their life is no better than a living nightmare.

Child labour is one of the worst forms of exploitation of a child. Africa has the highest incidence of child labour, while Asia being the most densely populated region has the largest number of child labourers. It has 61 percent of the world’s child labourers. The incidence is recorded by ILO as 41 percent for sub-Saharan Africa, 21 percent for Asia and 17 percent for Latin America. The worst form of child labour is the exploitation of children in sex trade. According to the UNICEF survey around 1 million of the Asia children are lured up in the sex business every year. About 40% of which were sold by the parents and 15% by the relatives.

Isn't it scary? That the fact that there are such immoral and unjust going on on the other side of the globe. Yet, we are so comfortable living in our little own bubble? I don't know about you, but it sure shook me pretty hard and forced me to look at the world in an entire different perspective [ not like I do not have a different perspective of the world.. ]. It is really saddening to know about it.

Then again, Africa is a little far fetch for us. Let us take a country nearer to us. Laos for example has one of the highest rate of poverty in the South-East Asia, 53%. That is more than half of the country's population. How frightening it is? Next would be Myanmar, Vietnam, Cambodia and Indonesia. Most of the country's children are suffering from malnutrition and do not have the opportunity to education as they have to work to support the family or do not have the means to do so. Besides that, they normally live in the slumps or remote areas that do not have access to electricity and clean water supply. It is also extremely normal for them to go without food for 2 or 3 days. However, here we are complaining about our education and having not enough allowance for shopping, there they are worrying about their next meal.

I learned a great lesson, the lesson of giving Thanks. Hence, .....

One of this year's next year's resolution is to be....

MORE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT I HAVE.

Yes. I WILL be more grateful. I will not complain about my life when they are others who are far more worse off than me. I thank God for giving loving and doting parents. They nag and scold is for my own good - it's their way of showing their concern for me; they provide me with my comfort in life too. I thank God for providing me with parents who care for my future - by providing me with my education. I thank God for giving me friends that care for me - I absolutely adore and LOVE my friends. I thank God for giving me the opportunity to enjoy life as it is now. I thank God for giving up his life for us - He will not be forgotten.

Will you be giving thanks?

p.s: I am a happy and contented person. My mummy is willing to help me sponsor a child under World Vision. With only RM50 a month, you get to help a kid! obviously, I will have a deduction of RM50 each month starting Jan'08, but at least I know it's for a good cause [ it's not going to Zara or Topshop anymore... ].

Cross Roads.

2007-12-02T21:31:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: emomo rant/highly confused, random post. and no. I'll not be blogging on Britney Spear's lame movie.

I am at the crossroad in my life. Ask me 1 month ago what I wanted to study in my future studies, I would be able to immediately tell you. However now, I thought I knew what I wanted to read as my future studies. note the word "THOUGHT". I serious thought I knew. however, as time goes by, I feel like as though I have been deprived from the knowledge of other fields of studies. Never have I thought that there were a world far bigger than the one thought and drawn for me.

As a child, I have always been told that since I could "talk" and I liked to "read", I would be a good lawyer. To add on, I didn't really fancy the science subjects besides physics. I wanted to be a lawyer having the impression that I was "made" for that profession, but now I realize that I was not given a choice. To say the least, probably influenced to be a lawyer.

I know I have always been fickle minded. It's bad. I KNOW. However, this time I know for sure, I do not want to study in UK. I want to study in the US. Reason being, I'm jaded with the UK's system. I feel really suffocated right now with having the choice to choose between either to further my studies in the UK or the US. The right thing to do is to follow my parent's wishes to continue in Law and go to the UK and study. But, the right thing for ME, is to go to the US and study under an undeclared Major. Probably something under the Humanities, I can't do Law as my first degree as it is a second degree.

Right now, I'm really confused. Am I to do which right thing? Should I be selfish? Aren't all human beings selfish? Problem being, my parents are the ones that will be funding my studies. Should I because of that forgo my own dreams and wishes? I know that I should talk to them before I make my decision, but would they listen? They had always put so much hope on me, I'm really afraid to ruin their one and only hope.

Parents would normally support their child in whatever they wish to do, but as their child, shouldn't we try to bring them happiness too? If I choose to study Law in the UK, I will start my twinning straight away next year September. That will mean, I have never taken any break from studying since primary 6. If I choose to study in the US, it will mean I have to take a study break for a year, sit for my SATs and apply for Uni/Colleges' Fall'09. It also means, I will be having a year to myself. In the eye of the Asians, wasting one year of your life doing nothing.

I really hate making decisions. I hate standing at a crossroad not knowing which one to choose. I am more afraid of making the wrong choice in life. We learn from our mistakes. That is true, but what IF, the mistake I did is something so severe it's unredeemable? [here we go with all the what IF questions. it's never ending.] I'm so confused right now that I'm not even sure what I want to study in the future. The scariest part is, I have to make my decision within 5 months.

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
and I'm sorry I cannot travel both."
Robert Frost, "The Road Not Taken".

I know that I have to within the next 5 months come up with a decision. I just really sad that I can't travel to both countries to experience the two diversed culture. I wished that I would be brave enough to follow what the poem ended with. As nothing ventured, nothing gained.

"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."

We always asked the question "what IF?". As ironic as it may sound, it always takes place right after we committed a mistake.

"If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:..
.. If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss"
Rudyard Kipling, "If-"

I really would like to master the written "Ifs". Don't you feel that Kipling's poem touches so much on the will, strength and stupidity of man? well, I do. however, it's optimistic.

"If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" "

I will HOLD ON!

"Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it."

food for thought.

2007-11-14T17:54:00.000+08:00

remember last year this time? all of us would have been studying for our exams and pondering about what are we going to do in the coming year.. well, it's been a year. next year, same time, where would we be? what would we be doing? will the friends we made be our friends still? same questions as the year before. look at the irony in life. no pun intended.

i was talking to someone the other day and it struck a cord in me. He said, "I HAVE friends who i call friends. Friends who i can count on. Friends who i want to remember and be remembered. Friends that i do not want to remember."

"do i have friends i call friends? friends that i can count on?" it makes me wonder about the superficiality of our society. like in Frankenstein, the pursuit of knowledge is good, but ultimately, it destroys too. hence, do i really want to know? Superficially, i KNOW i have friends. however, the ultimate question is whether could i count on them when i need them? I think i do.
you know whenever i exclude myself, it's because of you. your actions and reactions.
Then he continued saying, "We put a distance or mental block to the people around us as time progresses (in our current programme..) so that we won't hurt ourselves in the near future. Since we know that we will most likely end up in different place doing different things. 18months is a short period of time, but it's not too short to form friendships. However, we would just like to spare ourselves from the pain of leaving the friendship."

Ain't human being funny?
we form friendships and in the end distancing ourselves from it? and sometimes, we are just so comfortable with the bubble we are in that we totally forget about the people around us. even if you don't mean it, you seem to exclude the other group of people from the bubble you are in. sometimes you are so oblivious to it that even the others shows it out, you don't realize it. it's hard when you are comfort zone, but the others have feelings too.
yes, YOU do that. don't you noticed it? well, i DO.
Why do we hide our feelings? if it's not alright, then SAY IT!
ok, i know i never dare to show some of my feelings in me. however, some people do seem to know how to read other people feelings better than others. i believe that person is really observant. it's a shame that we live in a society where superficiality conforms our mind. it's downright sick. we can't show what we mean or feel and we are suppose to suppress our dislikes and emotions to bend to others. Saddest part is, when we think we could shed that part from our "clique" if you must call it; it backfires. they say you are just a "drama-queen" or "emotional" or "hyper-sensitive". it's really nice when at sometimes your "friends" actually could read your mind/feelings. but it hurts when they are the cause of it and yet, they do nothing about it or just pretend it doesn't exist. worse is, they say the problem is YOU and that you are supposed to change your mind set. It's not ok. even if we often say "it's ok".
yes, I'M FREAKING TALKING ABOUT YOU. YOU DO UNKNOWINGLY OR KNOWINGLY.
Why do human beings strive for attention?
are we that deprived from attention that we have to find other means of attracting attention? or, is it more like we crave for ACCEPTANCE? It's hard to be low in self-confidence. you are not helping. recently, i have never felt accepted, but i felt being there by default. I hate it. I REALLY hate it.
Aren't we humans just sad?
we are never happy with what we have but lament about what we don't. If only we were just satisfied with what we have, probably life would be brighter and satisfactory. Problem being, it isn't fair that you get that sort of lifestyle. maybe i'm just envious.
Tension builds when you are forced to stay in a confined place with someone with contrasting personality. but, try so fix it or at least understand each other. I'm willing, are YOU?
I exclude myself from you all and make myself seem busy is so that i can be in denial that i'm actually being excluded. Don't worry, i'm not blind or oblivious like some people, i ACTUALLY know when i'm not wanted or needed. Don't lie to me, because I'm already lying to myself.

如果世界太危险
只有音乐最安全
带着我进梦里面
所有美好回忆记录在里面
让各自都实现.

randoms

2007-11-04T20:42:00.000+08:00

It’s twisted reality
Like four-leaf clovers
which are really mutations for luck
Or the fear beneath the covers
We twist and turn
catching our breath to really get away
We don’t know what we want
But we still flaunt it every day.

day before yesterday (2nd Nov.) was dearest suelynn's birthday. she is finally 18. may she be blessed and go forth to conquer the world. I wish her all the best and be able to look through the world with rose-tinted glasses every once in awhile. the world can be a very beautiful place.

yesterday was our very first econs class with Ms. Kimmie. She reminds me a lot of Ms Joanna. I missed the thrill of econs class after she left for KPMG. overall, i enjoyed the class very much.

after class, i went off to Sungei Wang to redeem Leehom's Showcase tickets. His showcase would be on the 9th of Nov. people there were crazy. i was there at 12.45pm, and the line was already SUPER long... and the redeeming doesn't start until 3pm.. i think i was like among the first 200 people to redeem the tickets and the queue behind me was still getting longer.

some of them were so kiasu that they brought with them 6 albums to redeem the tickets. yours truly only has two albums, but only brought the above album as it entitles 2 special zone tickets.

but, it doesn't matter now... i might not be going to the showcase.

prod prod.

2007-10-29T21:34:00.000+08:00

prod. prod. prod.

no. this blog is not dead YET.
i just don't have the time and leisure to blog.

will blog more when i get the time and motivation to blog.

love,
steff.

updates to come.

2007-10-04T17:52:00.000+08:00

my sincere apologies.

it's not that i have disappeared into oblivion, but, I'm just plain too lazy to update.
don't fret, I will be back as soon as I get my "marketing" team up and running.

oh, and people. GO WATCH "LUST, CAUTION".

for now,

LOVE you all.
Steff.

Say NO to United Nations' abolishment of Traditional Chinese in 2008

2007-09-08T10:13:00.000+08:00

Say NO to United Nations' abolishment of Traditional Chinese in 2008

even though i am a student of the simplified Chinese but i do not feel that it is acceptable to abolish the traditional Chinese. yes, the traditional Chinese might be a huge pain in the ass to study, but think about it, the characters really do tell us a story. every word is a story, if you don't believe me just check out certain traditional words.

besides, Chinese is one of the few languages that could be learnt without being able to speak the language. Written Chinese is unusual in being the only major modern-day writing system not based predominantly on an alphabet or a compact syllabary. as long as you understand the "picture" of the word it represents, you will be able to make out what the sentance or word.

when i was studying Chinese back in the primary school days, i admit, i abhorred Chinese homework and calligraphy. my ignorance suffered. however, as i grew older(i may not be very old..) but i realise the beauty and importance to study Chinese. I AM CHINESE. and i am proud of it. be proud of your heritage and culture. if you are Chinese, don't, i say DO NOT be ashamed of it, think about it;

you are a part of a history dated way back 5000 years ago, one of the world's oldest continuous civilizations.

you are part of the largest community in the world. there are approximately 1million in china excluding the rest of the world.

you are the people who invented paper, the compass, gunpowder, and printing.

someone once told me, we, the Chinese are the special people of the world. God loves us very much and thus gave us the brains and the capability to be where and who we are now. so treasure it, and do not throw it away.

遥远的东方有一条江,

它的名字就叫长江.

遥远的东方有一条河,

它的名字就叫黄河.

虽不曾看见长江美,

梦里常神游长江水.

虽不曾听见黄河壮,

澎湃汹涌在梦里.

古老的东方有一条龙,

它的名字就叫中国.

古老的东方有一群人,

他们全都是龙的传人.

巨龙脚底下我成长,

长成以后是龙的传人.

黑眼睛黑头发黄皮肤,

永永远远是龙的传人.

mourn and celebration.

2007-08-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

ok ok.. it's once again time for some update..

there has been a lot going on these days (some good, some bad.. mostly unhappy..) thus i didn't have both the time and the mood to update (besides, how many readers do i have?)

2 weekends ago, i found out that it's best to let the people you cherish and love know how you feel towards them. tell them you love them before it's too late as you will never know when you/they will not be around anymore..
I was once told that, life and death is separated by a thin thread. it's true. within mere moments, you/I could be gone. however, I was also told that death is just a very long sleep. maybe death isn't as painful as we seem. have you ever considered the way you want your death to be?
would you rather want it quick like a heart attack? or would you want it slow like cancer? thinking about it, if i were to die quick and least painful, it would definitely bring a lot of shock for the people i love(that is if i have people that love me.) and it would bring them more pain as they have the least time for them to cope with the death and cause. however, if i were to die slow, it will be painful to all those around me, no doubt about it. but, this kind of death is what i would call either a "necessary evil" or the "cruel kindness". At least while on the deathbed, i will still be able to settle certain stuffs and allow the people around me would have the time to cope and accept both the cause and death to come. either way, we all die, it's just the question of when, where and how.

i found out that my godpa is suffering from cancer. both in the spine and liver. the above was my thoughts for the past few weeks upon receiving the news of my godpa. the doctors refuses to play God and tell us the expected amount of time left, but it's best not to know and just cherish the time we have on hands.

on a lighter note, after visiting my godpa at the sinapore hospital, aunt sophia brought me and mum to Vivo City to have some tea and to some shopping. the view there of Sentosa is really good.. i'll just let the photos do the talking..

here you get to see a shadow of the very so famous half lion , half fish.. the "Merlion".. and the figurine hanging there on the left is actually movable.. it does some gymnastic movements every now and then..

here you get to see the mode of transport to Sentosa, the Island of fun... the cable car at the back and the ferry... and the newly built bridge..

here you get to see some statues they have all around Vivo city...

while walking around, i manage to have some opportuinity to capture some artistic shots..

yea.. it's a little dumb, just leaves and water...

who dare says there is no littering in Singapore? eh? but i like it's placement and if you carefully look at it, i see a story... or at least it's just me.

this was a decor on my dinner plate.. isn't it just beautiful?

anyways, on the 11th of August, our dear Weiyan turned 18!! woo-hoo... we got invited for dinner over at his place.. we had roasted duck fettucine and smoked salmon as main course. the fettucine was really good.. (did i mention, his dad was the one that cooked?) however, it's was the dessertS that stole the limelight.. sadly, i only managed to take 2/3 of the desserts we had. i didn't manage to capture weiyan's birthday chocolate cake... oh well... photos!!

you have apple crumble pie on the left and raspberry, cherry and strawberry puree with home-made whipped cream on the right... they were ORGASMIC!!!

continuing the next day was darling Shameen's birthday. we spent the day rotting around at home.. Shameen's mum made pulut kuning and rendang.. she is a fantastic cook!

the pulut kuning and rendang cake....

after dressing up.. we decided to cam-whore a little as we still had quite some free time on hands before picking up weiyan...

then later in the night, we celebrated at Telawi Street Bistro.. 8 of us met up there, the three of us, weiyan, suelynn, meng, qabir and timothy.. the food there was really good, but the price.. you already that kind of place has what kind of price... anyways, once again, the desserts stole the limelight of the night. obviously i have photos. and i'll let them do the talking..

this was where we had our dinner. top left at the balcony..

the first photo you have the boys, timothy, weiyan and qabir(who desprately tries to stay out of the photo.) the second photo you have the birthday girl and i, there's suelynn and meng looking very very matching.. lastly me, suelynn and meng..

now on to the limelight of the night...

you have the desserts...

the one on the left is raspberry creme brulee, the one on the right, i forgot its name >.<, but i do know it has chocolate and oreo ice-creme. they were ORGASMIC!!!

we also had butter puff pastry with brandy snaps in mango puree and baked apple and pepper(it tasted really really weird.)

there is a drink, called TSB Orgasm.. it's a cocktail of khalua, baileys, milk and something(which i don't remember.. >.<, oh, yes it's amaretto) it tasted really good... but as always there are opinions from different people..

Alea, enjoying her ORGASM.. TSB Orgasm...

Shameen... not enjoying her ORGASM... heehee...

after dinner.. we walked around Telawi Street for a while..
after that.........

weiyan goofing off.. after party madness...

post party tiredness.. however, shameen is extremely engross in reading her birthday card..

this video was shot after the dinner...

Movie and D'lish...

2007-08-01T19:57:00.000+08:00

yesterday.. i went to the newly open D'lish in Bangsar Village with Shameen, Qabir, Alea and Suelynn for lunch.. it was good.. I was craving for sandwich moments before deciding to eat there.. and their cupcakes and brownies.. i tell you.. it's HEAVENLY!!! i see the scale tipping... gaah.....

anyways.. i went to see The Simpsons mOvie today at midvalley with Alea, Shameen, Qabir, Weiyan, Suelynn, Ming, Jolynn, Kath, Yiling, TzerYing and Desmond. It was brilliant i tell you.. the movie was a non-stop laughter.. i strongly recommend it to anyone who is pondering whether to watch it or not.. GO watch it!! you will NOT regret.. unless you are not a Simpsons fan.. then after the movie, we all went our seperate ways.. some had LAN to go to others when home.. as for me, Alea and Shameen.. we walked around and settled ourselves once again at the newly open D'lish.. this time it was at Midvalley.. today was their opening ceremony.. their first day in business.. we ordered some drinks and talk..talk..talk...

oh and i was very very tempted to change my blogskin to this.. let me show you the screenshot of the suppose blogskin...

it was created to annoy nenek.. heehee~~~ but.... hahahahahaha... don't worry.. i'm not that mean.. heehee~

update. maybe?

2007-07-28T12:51:00.000+08:00

it's been long since i've updated.. well, i wasn't on a hiatus or anything remotely close to it..

i just didn't had the means to update,

(1) my laptop was infected by a virus that surprisingly on affects my media files. so obviously i sent it for some recovery period.

(2) then, i was back in JB for the past month.. went down to hibernate.. ish.

(3) Joylyn flew back from Ozzie for her break. I spent time with her.. that stupid girl didn't inform anyone of us that she was coming back.. she bladdy hell gave me and the others a big surprise. hasn't changed a bit that girl..

(4) when to watch Harry potter with waimun and sara on friday the 13th.. we had loads of fun.. hee~ we decided to have dinner together first, so we went to eat at Amarin, Heavenly Thai.. their Green Curry and TomYum was superb! Harry Potter wasn't that great.. much prefered the book.. oh and we met peimun there too.. she's studying in HELP too.. doing some business course...

(5) Leehom's newest album has finally came out.. it's called "Change My Ways"
(cue for nenek to roll eyes and do this >_>) hee~ the album is pretty good.. loads of ballads.. much mellower comparing to his previous album.. not so much of r&b anymore...

(6) now i know there are 3 people that share the same birth date on the 19th of July.. they are, Alea, Aunty Kim (Joy's mum) and Kim Sng, heehee~ Happy Belated Birthday to those three..

(7) on the 21st of July, the whole NPK(cept Joy) and one of each of Sujen and Waimun's friend met up at Sunway lagoon.. Sujen scored us tickets to go for the 8tv concert thingy.. wet n wild party hosted by 8tv.. we played both in the wet and the theme park.. had loads of fun.. sat the pirate ship and tomahawk.. both rides were pretty fun.. though the US that i sat was far more more more intense..

after the whole day, we all gathered at "Zen" a Japanese Restaurant.. the food there was pretty good, the Unadon was fantastic..

then Sara stayed over.. the fellow forgot and left her keys in waimun's bag.. hahaha.. oh well.. the next day we met up at midvalley again to pick up her keys.. met meifern.. before that, both of us got stuck at the mamak's for 2 hours, it was pouring cats and dogs.. thank god Aunty Anisa came to the rescue... heehee~~ oh and i met junjie(i hope i spelled his name correctly..) at the US edu fair.. he is so adorable.. hee~~ the best thing was....... i bumped into MEIKIN there too!!! hahaha.. it was a long long time since i saw her.. miss her loads...

(8) i have a new econs lecturer.. urgh.. he.. i don't want to talk about it.. but he is improving.. that is a good sign.. hopefully he will unleash his best potential...

(9) on the 27th July(which was yesterday), dad came up to KL for his meeting.. hee~ he brought me shopping(actually i dragged him to go shopping...) i got a couple of new stuff.. i.e. a few skirts, a couple of tops, some accessories.. hee~ dad will also be coming more often.. muahahahaha... we all know what that means.. well at least to those who have left their comfortable nest to live alone...

(10) the same day.. i bumped into eujin and his *ahem friend in midvalley.. i swear to you, his *friend looked at me funny.. did i ever mention i find it amusing to look at guys shopping? besides certain people i know.. but you know in that kind of "circumstances"? hahahaha...
I was in Quiksliver when i saw him.. but i didn't bother to greet him.. but then at Zara, i passed his back and tapped his shoulder.. he turned around and i waved and said hi.. we spoked a little, he asked how long have i been here, i told him more or less 20mins.. he looked shocked and pointed and my Topshop bag.. "woah, so fast got 1 bag already..?" oh well.. when you have the XX gene.. it's normal.. hahahaha...

(11) i finished reading Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows!!!! it was good.. (the ending was... All was well...)

(12) oh and in the next few weeks, when i get back to JB, i'm going to collect my sunnies.. Armani shades, you wait for me.. i'm coming!!! and next week wednesday.. it's Simpson's movie day!! woot!!!! can't wait...

untitled

2007-07-01T23:47:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of carrying the umbrella of emotions.. for one i would like to just let go my emotions.. let it run freely like the bird above the sky.. gracefully gliding through the winds.. as carefree as it wants without having to second think.. acting as it wishes.. peacefully soaring into that blue sky and dark night...

there isn't a need to hide behind the facade of life, even though I have always believed that superficiality makes the world a better place to live in.. and that the truth always hurt, but there is nothing like true lies and fake honesty.. what's there in life when everything isn't real and all you do is to please some idiot?

Are YOU that IDIOT?

I know that the rainbow always comes out after the storm.
But, where is my rainbow after the rain?
i have been looking for you for so long.. however your appearance always only lasts for awhile before the storm steps foot into my life again.. why don't you stay longer? what does it take for me to hold you longer in my life. I understand that in life there are the ups and the downs, but why does the downs always stay longer than the ups?
I want my rainbow to be in my life longer!!! for that, would it need a bigger and stronger storm?

i most certainly hope not!

untitled

2007-06-30T00:17:00.000+08:00

never did i dare to think of this day,
never did i dare to think that the spot next to me would be left empty,
as i touch the empty spot beside me - it's still toasty.
warm from your heat.

never did i dare to think of this day,
silently,
i knew in my little heart that it will come one day,
whether i like it or not,
the spot will be empty.

never did i dare to think of this day,
even though it's relevant now,
i will stay happy and encourage to go forth,
and venture into the unknown realm that i can only advise.

--------------------

looking back at the road taken,
thinking of the chances taken,
realising the chances foregone,
understanding the mistakes done.

looking into the road not taken,
predicting where the road might lead to,
not knowing the journey ahead,
hoping to look a little into the journey prepared of us.

standing in the middle of the crossroad,
understanding and figuring out,
knowing the hurt and the happiness,
realising that nothing last forever,
never ever would life be...
happily ever after.

why do good things always come to an end?
and the bad things always remain?

-------------------

a person's character is like tea,

it takes time to brew,
only after long soak,
will you know the person.

the bond of two people will also be tested through time.
they say friendship will last forever.
but is there such thing as forever?
hopefully there is.
and what is going through my mind now is just my own imagination.

I will always walk with a spot reserved specially for you.
would you accept the invitation to walk beside me?

--------------------

never take anyone for granted.

you will never know what you have lost until it is lost.

i have been tagged... it's a survey...

2007-06-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

i have been tagged my stephanie...
so, here goes nothing....

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
Beatrice : He were an excellent man that were made just in the midway between him and Benedick; the one is too like an image and says nothing,......
(it's from my English Literature text, Much Ado About Nothing.)

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
so? if you can be more specific... anyways, my pendrive, bluetooth drive, some CDs, some books and my watch is in my left hands reach. >_>

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
erm... Disney Channel's cartoon... some advertisement.. some music videos....

Without looking, guess what time it is?
10:30pm..

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
10:50pm...

whoa... that's pretty accurate.. muahahaha...
anyone interested in me reading your future?

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
my computer doesn't make any noise...

(1) the music that is playing over my computer...
(2) the crickets outside...
(3) the frogs outside...

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
erm.. this afternoon at 12.30pm..
i went to my high school to collect some stuffs...

Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
i was reading Stephanie's blog...
and youtubing some videos...

What are you wearing?
my pyjamas...
t-shirt and shorts..

Did you dream last night?
erm.. i don't really remember the details.. but i did remember dreaming about me in a weird situation.. can't really remember..

When did you last laugh?
during dinner time with my parents..
mum and i cracked some jokes... and i choked... >_>
(never crack jokes while eating dinner and drinking soup...)

mum's joke was really LAME..
there was this couple who recently had a baby..
after a few months, the baby was learning to talk...
while the grandma was taking care of it, the baby's 1st word was ah-ma..
the grandma was very happy since her grandchild called her 1st..

the very next day, she died.

after a few days, while the grandfather was changing the baby's diaper..
the baby once again uttered, "gong".. the grandfather was obviously happy..
the grandfather died the very next day...

then it came when the mother heard the child called her..
and she too died shortly afterwards..

by now, the father was worried, whoever the child called, dies...
and when he heard the baby called him papa... he knew his time was up...

but after three days he didn't die...
so he called his best friend ah-meng to tell him the news..
but when he called, ah meng's wife told him that he passed away two days ago...

hmmm... i wonder why???

What are on the walls you are in?
besides my airconditioning unit, some switches for the lights and aircon, my windows and curtains.. there isn't anything else...

Seen anything weird lately?
yeah... human sandwich... Joy torturing her only and youngest brother...
and a lady who refuses to change her shoe and rather walk in an akward manner dragging her broken shoe while shopping in Kerrys'.. she walked into Vincci without buying any shoe...

What do you think of this quiz?
LAME.. it's getting on my nerves... ugh...
but, as courtesy.. i'll finish the survey...

What is the last film you saw?
To Sir with Love..
i saw it with Stephanie.. it was a horror flick, and my arm survived!
wakakakaka...

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
could you be more specific?
even if i had 2million, i would still be a multi-millionaire... and that isn't very much eh?
and what currency are we dealing in? with my current savings, i'm already a multi-millionaire in certain currency..

okok.. i'll just imagine myself with an elastic multi-million account that will never run dry..
(like that will ever exist in this world...)

(1) buy some property under my family name.
it's best to own some property under the family as it's a wiser way comparing to have liquidfy money.. it's material possession.

(2) set up some trust fund.
to keep the money rolling just in case. you'll never know what would happen.

(3) renovate the house that i stay in currently.
i will never sell the house that i live in. EVER. i grew up in this house. there are memories in this house. and my parents told me to never sell this house no matter what. it's good property.
so, i would make this place a better and more comfortable house to live in.

(4) travel around the world.. twice..
once with my parents. i would like to enjoy the world with my parents and spend time with them as long as i can. even though they can be a real pain sometimes, but they still love you and care for you.
another time by myself.
i would like to venture on my own.. maybe with some friends.. it's a different feeling travelling with your family compared to travelling alone or with friends...

(5) do some charity work.
what's there to have money but you don't help when you could? have a heart! lend a helping hand to those in need.

(6) buy the dream car that i have always wanted.
currently, i want a Bentley(Continental GT) but it's a little unpractical.. it's a real beauty...
a vintage volvo Amazon wouldn't be that bad.. i love the shape and design, but the maintainance is through the roof.. however, since i'm rich.. why bother eh?.. or maybe the volvo C30.. it's totally the car of the century..

(7) open a bakery..
need i explain more?

(8) shop as much as i want, where i want..
i'm a girl. so duh.

(9) meet leehom?
i know nenek.. i know.... >_>

Tell me something about you that I don't know.
what do i know that you don't know?
i don't know what you want to know...

erm, i have an alter-ego that i wish to be?

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?

the mentality of human beings toward certain aspect in our life. for instance,

(1)The realisation of Women's rights and Children's rights.
I would like to stop cruelty towards the derogatory towards women. give equal rights to the women. let them have a chance like the opposite sex.
The women has to realise that they can be as strong, as smart, as heroic as their opposite sex. We can wear the pants once in while and we do not need to eat of their hands as we can make it too.
I would like all the children in this world to have equal education and childhood worth remembering. Stop all cruelty to the children. Abolish child labour! they have their own rights too!!

(2)To be able to curb extinction of the wild animals and cruelty towards them.
It's an Eco-system!! without them, there won't be us. don't you understand? dumb ass!

(3) The realisation of Global-warming.
Global-warming is real! years went pass, and so many weird environmental phenomena has been experienced. people, start doing something. if not, there won't be an earth for us to live any more.

(4) The mentality toward other people.
Do not shut off anybody from your life. you will need them one time or another. stop thinking of yourselves all the time, and spare some thought for the others. hence, the world will be a better place to live in..

Do you like to dance?
erm, i'm pretty fine with it.

George Bush:
i'm a neutral, i don't hate him, neither do i adore him.
but he did involve himself in certain things that he shouldn't have done, however, we will never know the reason behind it.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Dannielle, Alexendra, Dominique, Adrieanna, Ashlynn, Wynniefred, Nayomi, Hailey, Gabriella.
these are the few names so far that i might name my girl..

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Alexis, Dominiq, Alexander, Raphael, Joshua, Nathanael, Stéphane, Jaeden, Gabriel.
these are the few names so far that i might name my boy..

Would you ever consider living abroad?
hell yes!
wouldn't you?

What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Welcome in my child. You are home.

I tag:
who do i want to tag?
there isn't a point? no many people read my blog anyways...
anyone who wants to do it.. by all means..

I am not obsess.

2007-06-25T01:06:00.000+08:00

before writing this post.. i can already predict "nenek" going on saying, "and she dare say she's not obsess with Leehom..." while reading this post.

hahaha.. yes, I am not obsess with him.. but you can't deny that he is...

GOOD LOOKING.

and

TALENTED.

anyways, this is his newest single..
落葉歸根 [Falling Leaf Returns to Root]

it's really soothing and saddening at the same time.
the arrangement of the song and the melody is really good.
the lyric is really touching.
his voice is great and extraordinary..

i'm not saying all the above because I LIKE him.. but i'm really serious.

hear it for yourself if you don't believe me.

Leehom's 13th Album: 改變自己 (Change My Ways)
First Promotional Single of 2007
album will be out on 13th of July (it's a Friday...)...

words of wisdom.

2007-06-20T16:35:00.000+08:00

there isn't much to write about.

from now onwards, i feel that it's best not to report much on the ongoings about my life in this blog because i KNOW there are people reading this blog with bad intentions. i might be wrong about it, i wouldn't know. it's only a hunch, but like in one of my previous post, by having a blog, i'm exposing myself to the world. i accept it.

however, after deep consideration, i'll pick and choose what i WILL post. until i feel i am once again invulnerable to the world around me, i will continue to post more personally. so, for the time being everything will be on the surface.
Superficiality makes this world.
Being plastic help bring life to a full circle.
i wish that i could blog about my life, UNPLUGGED, UNCENSORED, 100% me. sadly, i'll be taking off from being me for a while. time out is needed for me to live without certain aspect in my life. hopefully, by the new semester, i can be myself once again.

I want to express my apologies and gratitude to some people(you know who you are) :

to those who have been there for me when i needed you the most. I'm sorry that i might be able to keep my promise that i made to you. but, i will try my best to keep it. however, i will always keep my promise of being there for you when you need me.

to those who have back stabbed me thank you for showing me your true colours. I will say that i'm sorry for making you to feel the need to do such a horrendous action. I'm truly, deeply sadden by your sorry action and i accept your apology even if you do not express it.

to those who have been there even when i didn't need you. THANK YOU for your care.

to those that i have created trouble for you or brought you into deep shit, i'm really SORRY.

------------------

why pick a fight with a swine?

nothing good comes out of it. for one, you get dirty. secondly, the pig is happy.

ironic. i know. so, i'm going to live my life by that for awhile and block all the swines in my life.

another thing, you want to know why crushes are called so?

well, it's because it hurts to fall in love. it hurts so bad when you are in it, it hurts even more when you are out of it. it crushes your life at some point of time.

anyways, just for fun.

these are the 17 signs that you are falling in love.

Seventeen:

You look at their profile/picture constantly.

Sixteen:

When your on the phone with them late at night and they hang up, you still miss them even when it was just two minutes ago.

Fifteen:

you read their texts or IMs over and over again.

Fourteen:

You walk really slow when you are with them.

Thirteen:

You feel shy whenever you/they are around.

Eleven:

When you think about them, your heart beats faster and slower at the same time.

Ten:

You smile when you hear their voice.

Nine:

When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you, all you see is he/her.

Eight:

You start listening you slow songs, while thinking of them.

Seven:

They are all you think about.

Six:

You get high just from their scent.

Five:

You realise that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them.

Four:

You would do anything for them, or anything to see them.

Three:

While reading this, there was only one person on your mind the whole time...

Two:

You were so busy thinking about that person, You didn't notice the number twelve.

One:

You just scrolled up to check and you are now silently laughing at yourself.

hahaha..... tell me whether it was true or not.

I am not what you think I am.

2007-06-11T23:14:00.000+08:00

I normally don't blog much about my personal life here, but this is something i have to blog about.

YOU of all people,
shouldn't have done what you did.
YOU were only looking for trouble since you done it.
it's was really stupid of you to get my mom involve.
YOU said that it was just a small matter.
then why the hell did you get the whole KL involve?
and YOU called my mom after I clarified with you.
since it was between the two of US,
why did you have to get my MOM involve?
idiot you.
YOU accuse me of being long handed(indirectly)?
"isn't funny, erm, i don't know how to put this to sound not offensive. but every time she goes back, my things go missing. and when she comes back, she manages to find it." YOU said.
hello??? I found it, it wasn't even with me? so what bloody prove do you have against me? I found it in the end. you happy, I happy. but it just doesn't end there. at least for YOU.
YOUR things go missing, so does mine, but do you see me go around pointing fingers?
NO. you don't.
you don't see me asking the whole KL where did it go.
besides, YOU have a little SNITCH to go around letting you know what I'm WEARING. it's funny to think that only YOU can have that thing, doesn't mean there isn't another IDENTICAL looking one.
"she's wearing this, she's wearing that." - just as I step out the house.
whoa, I thought we were all suppose to be roommates and housemates?
I dare say it was that little SNITCH of yours telling you to get my MOM involve in this thing YOU call a SMALL MATTER.
playing with fire is what you did. YOU haven't seen my MOM's true colour yet.
what if, I had turned the table around and YOU were in MY shoes?
how would YOU have FELT?
did YOU know YOU ruined my week with my folks?
did you know you have STAINED, TARNISHED and RUINED my name?
happy aren't you?
who else did you called to snitch on me?
who else did you inform?
uh?uh?
anything else I should know???
YOU said you were looking for me.
YOU said you called me, but I didn't pick up.
so YOU called SC,
then YOU ask her all sorts of questions, tell her all sorts of things when YOU should have just confronted ME directly.
May I humbly ask, HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU CALL ME???
after I called back, thinking that we have already settled,
YOU daringly called my MOM.
YOU ruined our DINNER.
accusing ME indirectly of being long handed.
what the f*uck?
if you said it was a small matter, why? why? why? did you get my mom involved?
it's between you and me. but you had to get everyone involved.
I DEMAND an APOLOGY to my folks.
this is serious matter.
I don't mind if you don't apologise to me, but you HAVE to apologise to my folks.
If you in my shoes, how would you feel?
YOU ruined my image!

once again, I was too naive to believe you were all my friends.
maybe you were all my friends, SUPERFICIAL friends.
once again, people easily can seize opportunity over me.
I'm too soft-hearted, too generous, too stupid,
to believe in the greater good in a person.
that's the reason I always get hurt.
but I always keep it in me,
not letting anyone else in or know about it.

I am truly sadden, hurt and angered by YOUR actions.
I seriously thought you were my FRIEND. not FREND.

all my life.. i have waited for someone like you.

2007-05-30T18:50:00.000+08:00

I will never find another lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you

I will never find another lover more precious than you, more precious

than you

Girl You are

Close to me you're like my mother,

Close to me you're like my father,

Close to me you're like my sister,

Close to me you're like my brother

You are the only one you are my everything and for you this song I sing

All my life I pray for someone like you and

I thank God that I, that I finally found you

All my life I pray for someone like you and

I hope that you feel the same way too

Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

Said I promised to never fall in love with a stranger,

You're all I'm thinking of I praise the Lord above,

For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,

I REALLY LOVE YOU!!!

All my life, I pray for someone like you and,

I thank God that I, that I finally found you

All my life I pray for someone like you and

I hope that you feel the same way too

Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I've ever known, your smile on your face, all I see is a glow,

You turned my life around, You picked me up when I was down,

and
I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me too...

All my life, I pray for someone like you,

I thank God that I, that I finally found you

All my life I pray for someone like you

I hope that you feel the same way too

All my life, I pray for someone like you,

All my life, I pray for someone like you,
I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I pray for someone like you
I hope that you feel the same way too

Yes, I pray that you do, love me too

i'll never find a lover sweeter than you, sweeter than you...

~ kc-jojo "all my life"

Bored.

2007-05-25T00:27:00.000+08:00

bored. yes.. this title has been quite very adequately titled.
i don't really know what to blog.. i have been staring at this bladdy cursor for 1/2 an hour and i have yet to come up with what to blog...
so i'll just randomly post whatever that comes to mind... hee~
ok..
i survived my maths exams..
C1 was pretty ok.. questions were pretty standard..
C2 was like shite. yes, possibility of failing might be very high.
so i'm dead.
anyways,
i'll be having my U1 english lit exams tomorrow, so i'm studying like crap..not. yes, i'm still procrastinating, which wasn't my intention to start with at all.. oh well.. i have a few more hours to go.. which means eh! got time to study still..
hmm.. so for the time being.. i might as well indulge myself in some free time, relaxing myself..
ohoh, mum called yesternight when i was in the gym.. and, i'll be going back this Friday.. woot!! baby jason's birthday is this Saturday.. we'll be having a birthday party to celebrate his 3rd birthday.. he is finally THREE... yeah! i really miss him..
wonder what am i to get for him, sadly, i'm broke. so maybe next trip down? hmm...
since this is my blog.. i get to blog whatever i want..
and i say...
i want eye candy..
even though right now, the only eyecandy for me eyes is none other than....
Wang Lee Hom..
yes, i'm not obsessed with him... but i just want to show this homeboy some love..
muahahahaha...

*curse you blogger... i can't upload any pictures...* nvm.. i 'll try tomorrow morning.. *

.whatever.

2007-05-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

whatever.
I.DONT.CARE.ANYMORE.
serious.
maths is a gone case.

I'll be sitting for my maths C1 &C2 in less than 12hrs.
I should be studying/revising my maths.
however,
I chose to stare at my blinking cursor to think of what to type.
in short,
I'm WASTING time.

SHITE.

I.ABSOLUTELY.ABHORE.MATHS.

i met Joey-G on Friday. at Bangsar.
he is cool.
he has a pretty girlfriend.
i love his shades/sunnies.
it's nice.
i wished i had those.
i fell in love with a few pair of Oakley shades.
they are called Behave, Disobey and Speechless.
they cost around RM500(i think.)
sucks.
over my budget.
f*uck.
i love their custom ones even more.

anyways,
I'll update more soon.
if i survive tomorrow's exams.
wish me luck!

random ramblings.

2007-05-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

people say a picture says a thousand words.
i say picture gives the freedom to one to express themselves in a special way.
a special way that ables to connect themselves to the world.
and, to me, a photo or picture is able to tell a story on its own.
they both inspire and touch people in their own way.

so, this post would be on feelings and impressions i got from randomly scrolling through some photos.

just as you think that the whole world has deserted you..

just as you think that the whole world has turn it's back on you..

just as you think that you are alone in this world..

you know that it isn't true..
there is always that person next to you..

going through thick and thin..

being there for you whenever, wherever, however you need assistance..

you know sometimes how the weather can be as erratic as human mind?

one minute it's hot as hell, the next it's gloomy and dark?

and the gloominess tends to get the better of you...

however,

just as you think it's gloomy and bleak.

the rain stops.

a rainbow appears.

the sun rays starts peeping through the clouds.

and a warm fuzzy feeling in you starts to take over your mind and body.

whenever i do maths..
i feel like my brain is in a haze...
I'm always in a daze..
as though I'm in a maze..
trying to figure my way through as everything seems like a blur..

but, i'll often see the hope behind it..
there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

then again, you just feel like just screwing the bloody maths questions.
and you like "ah, f*uck it! i don't want to care anymore!"

when i saw this picture,
i felt this warm, loving feeling..
that kind of feeling you get nearing the end of spring and the starting of summer..
when the weather isn't too hot nor too stuffy..
i always wanted an elder brother.
i always yearn for that sibling love and care,
that elder brother over protectiveness,
to some, i might sound crazy..
but, i have always wanted to know how it feels to be doted, cared and protected by an elder brother.
it's only human nature to want something you can never get.
i guess this applies.

people say that some people get themselves into relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship or for the status or because everyone is in one.
to me,
it's not the status or that almost everyone around me is attach that makes me wonder is it a must for me to be in a relationship.
to me,
a relationship is not a status to publicise to the world.
it's a bond, a special bond shared by 2 people.
the comfortbility of 2 people sharing everything in their lives.
having a companion at all time, knowing that assurance that you can count on that particular person even when none of your friends can be there.
nothing more than that.
yes,
i would lying if i say i do not want to be in a relationship.
but,
i'm enjoying what i have now,
so,
I will take things one step at a time.
God has plans for me,
God knows whats best for me.

i find this photo very deep.
the background is superb.
what is the model trying to emote?
sadness?
depression?
thoughtfulness?
staring blankly into space?

- photos are the window to another person's world. -

argh.. exams.

2007-05-14T00:20:00.000+08:00

i'll be having my U3 english literature exams in more or less 13hrs.. and i'm just gonna ramble because that's what i do when i'm stressed out.

i stayed over at nenek's house over the weekend.. had loads of fun.
i cooked dinner for her.
i finally got to meet ZEN!!!
brought nenek to china town and we ate beef noodle...
i finally know how is coconut jelly taste like... (yes, i'm very "sua ku"..)
i cooked barley drink. but instead of drinking, i have to eat it. the reason? i over boiled it, thus it became barley porridge.
i brushed my teeth, 1 minute after that, i was eating a kaya sandwich.

anyways..
like stated before, i'll be sitting for my U3 englit exams..
so i shall enlighten you all who don't take Lit.
U3 is on a play written by none other than....
Billie-boy, rumoured to be gay..
William Shakespeare!!
the play is "Much Ado About Nothing".
for those who haven't read the play.. i strongly urge you all to read it.. i won't say if you don't you will regret it.. but you will just be uncultured!
anyways.. i'll write out some conversation from the play that I feel strongly for and inspired by..

Quoting Don John (the bastard brother of Don Pedro.) in act 1.2-3,
" I cannot hide what I am. I must be sad when i have a cause, and smile at no man's jests; eat when i have a stomach, and wait for no man's leisure; sleep when i am drowsy, and tend on no man's business; laugh when i am merry, and claw no man's honour."
"I had rather be a cranker in the hedge than a rose in his grace, and it better fits in my blood to be disdained of all than to fashion a carriage to rob love from any. In this, though i cannot be said to be a flattering honest man, it must not be denied but I am a plain-dealing villain. I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage. If I had a mouth, I would bite; if I had my liberty, I would do my liking. In the meantime, let me be that I am, and seek not to alter me."

- DJ is a bastard(child out of wedlock.) he is categorised as one that should not be given any respect or does not own any honour. a person that is to be disgusted at and despised upon. they are considered as bad-blood or black sheep of the society. thus, it results him to be one that is a "man of few words" and brutally truthful to protect himself from the world.

- he doesn't try to hide himself from the world and has this mindset where, "since you feel that i have to act that way, behave in that certain way and carry myself in that certain way. or since you already have that preconceive notion that all bastards are to be that way.. so there isn't any point for me to change your minds, might as well let me be the villain and be BAD." he is what i call a REALIST!!! then again, maybe he is just bitter at the world and silently hopes that the world should conform to him instead of the other way around.

-i love the way he puts his words even though he previously said that he was a man of few words. i absolutely love the way he portrays himself to the world and his brutal honesty. the way he chooses his choice of diction and the way he played the higher/upper class people.. took them for a joy-ride... woot!!! (i was never a fan of people with royalty or those who feel they were much better than the rest.. so you go Don John!!!) besides, Keeanu Reeves acted as him in the movie (even though he was damn kayu.. but all is forgiven because he is H-O-T!!!!)

even though back in the days, the same mind set were given to those child with were either orphan or child out of wedlock. we shall compare and contrast DJ to Beatrice.

Beatrice is an orphan and niece to Leonato who is father to Hero which is also Beatrice's cousin who in the end marries Claudio while she marries Benedick. Since Beatrice has orphan, it means that she has no parentage or lineage. Hence, she is on her own, she does not have the need to conform to the society's wants and views. which also means she in an UNconventionalist.

however, even though DJ and Beatrice are those in the Elizabethan era that are frown-upon, they are the characters that brings life to the play. DJ being the cold, shrewed, brutally honest villain; and Beatrice being the outspoken, unconventional, witty, 'violent'(?), independent, confident, strong-willed and intelligent. but, i dare put two of them on separate scales as Beatrice cannot be compared to DJ and they are both from different family background.

Quoting Beatrice from act2.1,
"Just, if he(God) send me no husband; for the which blessings I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening."
" Yes, faith; it is my cousin's(Hero) duty to make curtsy and say, 'father, as it pleases you.'But yet for all that, cousin, let him be a handsome fellow, or else make another curtsy and say, 'Father, as it pleases me.' "
"Not till God make men of some other metal than earth. Would it not grieve a woman to be over-mastered with a piece of valiant dust? To make an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl? No, uncle, I'll none. Adam's sons are my brethren, and, truly, I hold it a sin to match in my kindred."

-Judging from the conversation, i would conclude that Beatrice is one that is independent and would not bow down to any men that does not deserve her to. I believe that too, i strongly believe that no one should conform themselves to anyone or anything unless absolute. Why bother? it's not like everyone is going to notice and appreciate it. so, women, stand strong! you should exercise your rights!

- Beatrice is known as an UNconventionalist or a non-conformist. as you can see with her verbal sparring and repartee with Benedick and most men in the play. It also means she doesn't believe that she has to suck up to those being with the balls.. as women can wear the pants too if they want to! compared to Hero, who is an idiot to me.. oh well..

anyways, i can't believe i wrote a post only on my U3.. this is bad... no, it's good.. i'm having my practice now... muahahaha...
oh well.. i'll be going back after my exams... woot! mumzie already prepared my favourite food!! can't wait to go home.. i really really miss home.

taa~
wish me luck for my exams!!

oh, a shout out to Darling Daniel..
Happy 19th Birthday!!!
you were already legal last year.. guess you should already know what to do..
so, i'll just leave you this msg,
with the coming of age means the coming of much more bigger and heavier responsibilities..
0.O
oh well...
your cheese cake will be delivered.. don't worry...
strawberry, blueberry or plain? you choose!

hmm...

2007-05-08T22:54:00.000+08:00

i realised another thing today...

some people can communicate well enough with one another if they don't have know each other, so long they share some similiarities, they will be able to communicate like no other business..

-----------------------------------

my exams are next week..
my preparation is....

like shite..
the reason?

i HAVEN'T finish studying yet...

so,

it's like shite now..

however,

i'm not sitting on pins and needles yet.

I'm just STRESSED out.

not FREAKING OUT yet.

if i were given three words to describe my feelings.

it would be....

STONED, STUPEFIED and DEAD.

I.HATE.MATHS.

-----------------------------------

would you know my name if i saw you in heaven?

---> i said hi, but you just continue to walk away from me.

seriously, i'm not emomo. i'm really not.

it's just that when finally someone decided to be the first one to greet you,
it's either you were blind not to notice it, thought that that someone was greeting someone else or you just plain couldn't care less..

oh well...

i'm NOT emomo.
serious.
=]
-----------------------------------

home.love.family.

i miss home.
i'm homesick.
i'm serious.
i'm really homesick.

i guess you really wouldn't know how to treasure something till you lose it.

i miss my mom's cooking.
i miss my kakak.
i miss my Astro!!
i miss being manja-ed.

but,

no point lamenting about it.
i chose to come up to KL to study.
thus, this is the price to pay.

oh well...

self-realization..

2007-05-07T00:00:00.001+08:00

over the past few days, i realised a lot of things..

i realised that by having a blog it can be extremely dangerous.
you expose yourself to the entire population of the universe, or at least to whoever that seems to be interested in your posts.
anyone can just use whatever you write in your post against you.
(comes in handy when you want to blackmail certain people..)
you risk your own privacy with every posting.

i realised that there are people out there who read my blog that i do not know of.
whether is this good or not, i'm not sure.
but it goes back to, it's a dangerous thing.
because i'm not sure who reads my blog, and what would they do with knowledge from my blog seems very scary. imagine the power they have.
but, there isn't anything i have to hide from the world that i post here.. so, oh well.

i realised that i have a very messed up life.
then again, is it really that messed up?
it's more like complicated.

have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right?
have you ever tried to express yourself but your body or mind just wouldn't allow?
have you ever tried to figure out someone so badly but you cant?
have you ever had someone you you'd give anything to make them feel the same?
have you ever tried so terribly hard to make them understand?
have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart and you don't know where to start?
have you ever felt so useless, hopeless or frustrated at times you just feel like bursting into tears and hope ever so dearly with your heart that that one person would be there for you?
have you ever dreamed of someone who was there and all you can do is wait for the day when that someone would care?
have you ever felt so dearly for a person only to find out that it will never happen?
have you ever felt so frustrated in life that you get sick even thinking of it?

well.. i have. and it's complicating and confusing!

i realised that i do stupid and confusing things sometimes. In addition, i can be quite blur and i don't think straight sometimes.
for example,
i give stupid answers or ask stupid questions in class.
i don't get certain ideas right away at times, and it can be pretty frustrating.
i do something before looking at the whole picture.

then again,
there is no stupid questions, just stupid answers.

i realised that i should be more optimistic.
as nenek said, The Power of The Mind!
i should think so positively.
i should visualize that i'm going to have a comfortable future.
after all it has already proven to work. serious. no joke. at least for me lar.
be more optimistic and stop bringing down myself!

i realised that i'm very uncertain about my future.
i'm not sure what i might or want to major in.
but that is still in the near future.
i shall be more focus in what i have in my hands.
like study for my semester exams and make sure i can pass my maths exams..

enough of my self-realization...

-------------------------------------

Saturday

i went to MidValley to service my laptop..
and guess what?

they can't figure out what the problem with my laptop after 1 hour of toggling around with it by 3 technician!
all they could come out with is, it is a software problem. and they have never encountered it before.

oh well.. i have to send it in another time. man, what a waste of time.

on the same day, i met up with eujin at midvalley.
the shirt i bought for him was one size too small. yes, too small.
he wanted to exchange for himself, but due to the confidentiality of the receipt, we met up to exchange it.
but, on the way to Zara,
he pointed out that during his fitting, he would already know the price.
dang, the blur me.. i forgot about it.

*see, stupid action once again.*

oh well... L fitted him just nice.. not an M.. even he himself couldn't believe it..

that's it for now..
i gotta study for my econs mocks... gaah.... haix....

hmmm....

2007-05-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

ok.. what went on today?

everything seems a blur to me...

so let's just start from the beginning...

woke up at 5.30am, snoozed till 6.05am..

washed up, changed, prepped for college.. it was already 7.00am...

made some pb&J sandwiches.. drank a cup of nestum... left for college at 7.30am...

i missed 5.. yes, F-I-V-E, buses while walking down the hill to the bus stop.

however, God was kind enough to me, as i didn't have to wait long for the bus to take me down to Bangsar...

i reached college at 8.25am.. miraculously, i WASN'T late for my econs 8.00am class... i was surprised.. and daniel actually appeared for class today!!! hahaha...

after econs, we went for maths, before that, daniel and i went to the bakery for our breakfast... (what would we do without Rotiman???) i got a bun, and got to meet up with Sara...

erm, after maths, we waited for Alea and went for lunch with YaoRen(hope i spell his name correctly...) at Sri Emas... Daniel attracts gay males...

skipped 2nd econs class for revision of Eng Lit mocks... gaah....

at 2.00pm, met up with belated birthday boy - Eujin. passed his birthday gift to him.. (hope he likes what i got him..., i got him a Zara top, a Ferrari Black cologne and i made him a birthday card...) he was so cute, i told him that he has to tell me whether the top would fit, because the exchange period was only for 3 days.. guess what he replied?

"Never mind, i'll fit myself to the top!..."
*shakes head...dumbfounded.*
he thanked me with a hug and wished me good luck for my lit mocks...
(lucky ass.. his maths class got cancelled...)(if only lit class were to be cancelled)

then, went back to LT6.6 for my mocks... it was ok... not that unacceptable... but the room temperature was damn COLD!!!
did i mention i'll be having another lit mocks tmr???
shite.. and i have yet to study... haix...

after the paper ended, i came home.. received a call from daniel to mamak with him and yaoren.. damn cheap wei, the mamak down the corner...

hmm... i got home, changed and finally got to swim today!!!! after 3 weeks.. yes! and the best part was,.... the pool was empty!! hahahaha... swam for 1 hour... then came up...

and so, that's the story for the day...

ohoh...

a shout out to Suet Mey!!!

Happy 18th Birthday girl!
may this coming of age help you blossom into a better person in all fields of your life!!
enjoy your birthday and the legal benefits!!!!

hahaha...

but continuing...

yesterday, i went out to midvalley to meet up with nenek who was tagged along by Alfred...
we spent alsmost the whole day at midvalley..

there was so many eye-candies!!!! they had a fashion runway.. i tell you... me and nenek ogled at the guys... heehee... i managed to snap some photos of them...

isn't he uber cute?

but wait... there's more...

heehee... don't lar shy....

one more....

strut it.. pose!

heehee...
anyways...

had dinner with nenek at the korean restaurant... it was pretty good.. and quite economical too..

the best part was.. everyone was at midvalley... (daniel, alea, akashah, flora...) but we all didn't met up at all... hahaha...

oh well....

back in KL

2007-05-01T12:20:00.001+08:00

came back on Sunday,
for once i felt sad to come back to KL.. before boarding the bus i actually had to held back my tears.. (yes, i was on the verge of tearing up.) (unbelievable.)
i found out that i had a full day on Monday.. classes from 8am straight to 6pm. and i had to finish up with Lit handouts. so me and Qabir had an online discussion from 12midnight to 3am.
by the time i finished everything, it was around 4.30am.. washed up, went to bed and woke up at 5.30am. so i basically had only 1 hour of sleep.

On Monday..
when to econs morning class... found out that i wouldn't be having my Law class as it was cancelled.. hee, had some extra hours to study for maths mocks.. it was ok.. pretty tough, (seriously, if you were to give me a simple equation, i would still find it tough.) but bearable... suffered the maths with a huge migraine... continued with Eng Lit class... until 6pm.
Waited for the bus, Qabir waited with me, then he WALKED home after my bus arrived. thank you so much..
by the time i reached Bangsar, i was like a zombie, so i sat a cab home...(T.T, another hole in my pocket...) washed up, took a 650mg panadol, used a migraine pack on my forehead and slept.

Today..
i had 14 hours of sleep!!!! i slept from 8pm to 10.30am this morning... whoa.. even though now i still feel a little hung-over, but i'm getting better... oh well...

a long awaited update... from JB...

2007-04-29T02:07:00.000+08:00

it's been close to two weeks since my last blog, so i guess it's time for some updating....

last week wasn't a fantastic week for me..

people acknowledged my existence and some acknowledged my nonexistence..
human mind is one complex creation...
i don't really understand the going-ons in my life but i'm determined to persist in my life to be as optimistic as possible..

even though you didn't acknowledge me, it's ok, i'll understand..
no matter how much it hurts, it's ok..
I'm gonna be ok!
you're just another hiccup in my life..
I WILL get over it and jump back on my own t wo feet..
with my head up in the air,
and
walk tall amougst you a;;..

the only happy news worth reporting was...
I DID NOT GO UP NORTH!!!
I'M DOWN SOUTH!!
heehee..
i'm back in JB..
came down on Thursday after Math's extra class...

I have been mooping around for the past week as everyone was back in JB and i'll be the only one in Penang... Mum called on Wednesday night informing me that they weren't going to Penang anymore as dad's meeting got postponed... so she asked me to decide whether I wanted them to come up to KL or Me go back the JB...
Obviously I would choose the latter..
immediately I screamed "JAYBEE!!!!"...
-_-''' i know, never have I been so ecstatic of going home until i came to KL...
guess i really do miss home.. the funny thing was, after that call from mum, i felt so happy as though i was thrown into an euphoric state!! i felt so giddy and felt so much better from my flu.. serious.

....continuing....

Friday,

met up with Singyee and went to school to visit some of the teachers..
had lunch with Pn Emilda and Pn MJ Low..
went for the Junior's IU day.. Fiesta De Espana... (it's was good...)
went out with Steph, Sara, Sujen and Waimun... after the IU day.. chatted for a while at CS before we spilt...
went out dinner with my parents...

Saturday,

was suppose to go to the Pasar with mum in the morning, but because it was raining mum decided to let me sleep in as she didn't want my condition to worsen...(aww.. so sweet of me mum! I.LIKE.BEING MANJA-ED. hee.)
went for a hair trim..
went grocery shopping with mum..
cleared up my room...
had my favourite food for dinner... mum specially cooked for me...
packed my stuffs...(going back tmr... ='[ )
and now, i'm blogging...

anyways,

that's the summary of the past few minutes, hours, days, and weeks...

not forgeting....

A shout-out to Eujin...
Someone is finally L-E-G-A-L!!! hahaha... with it come a lot of responsibilities.. but it comes with a lot of F-U-N too!!! anyways... Happy 18th Birthday!!! enjoy this coming of age and look forward to what it may bring....

thoughts and reasonings

2007-04-18T11:34:00.000+08:00

i don't know what the hell is wrong but this random thought just came into my mind when someone came home.

"am i feeling this way because i'm lonesome, unwanted, jealous and envious?"

and,

i came up with reasons to that thought,

yes, i feel lonesome. (i am single you know? but then again, i have "friends")
yes, i feel envious. (i just feel like some people are just boasting about their popularity sometimes, may it be true or not.. heck cares. i don't like being unnoticed. then again, i rather be behind the scene sometimes, but not all the time. it makes me ponder why do some people get noticed all the time?)
yes, i might be a tad jealous. (how can you not feel jealous when people keep complaining about their "shortcomings" at the same time all you want to have is 50% of what they are complaining. then again, maybe they feel better complaining to you about their "shortcomings" because they would feel better because you are far worse than them.)
yes, i feel unwanted. (maybe it's more unnoticed. what's the point of you telling me that you want not to care anymore when you the total 180 of it? it's sickening to the core and i'm disgusted with your actions. don't tell me you want to do this, but in the end you do that. it's slutty. seriously. another thing, i hate it when you are suppose to do something together but in the end(last minute) you cancel it to do something with someone else.)
no, i feel very blessed to be here. even though i'm suffering. (life is about suffering, but i'm truly blessed to have a saviour in my life. He gave his life for us and i should count my blessings to be one of his child.)
no, i do have friends and "friends". i'm blessed, truly blessed to have you in my life. (friends like the npk darlings don't come easily, i want to take this opportunity to thank you for being in my life thus far, listening to my complains, rants and whining; putting up with my constant *tuut* and my character *trust me, i'm not an easy person to be with*. even those that are superficial, thank you for at least pretending to be my friend at put up with my superficiality and complains. those that are just plain friends, lets be friends and not plastic friends.)
no, i will survive and not give up. (life isn't that easy to start with. so why stop now?)
so what if you take me for a ride or for granted? (i'm so used to it that i feel numb. you can do all of the above for all i care. as long as i know that my pillars in life will stand by me, i will survive and shine!)
he still loves me. you still love me. i am blessed to be here and one of child. (what will we do without grace? even though we are not worthy, but lord will still love us. even though we are not perfect or good enough. He will still be there. yes, we do wrong and shunned by the world but the lord has still been good to me. even though i ain't good enough he still loves me.)
NO! I AM LOVED AND NOTICED! (i am loved by my PARENTS, RELATIVES, FRIENDS and GOD. i know i am, and i count my blessings. even though so far, life has been like *tuut*, at least i have you all to look forward to, to turn to when i need help or at least a shoulder to cry on or a ear to talk to. and you all should know that i would do the same for you all too.)

oh, did i mention how i hate that my hunches come true?

I.HATE.IT.

i don't like being always right about everything. it spoils the fun, the sadness and the anger.

emo-moness. non-existantness.

2007-04-17T11:31:00.000+08:00

i was suppose to blog about the student council voting in this post.. but now, i just don't have to f-ing mood to blog about it.. all i can say that, i did not regret going for the voting eventhough i said i would not vote. Karleng.. you seriously ROCK!!!

i guess it can be pretty sickening reading about my rants... then again.. did i ask you to read my posts? you came with your freewill and no obligatory to read my complains and whinning. and once again, i'm emo-mo... it's been quite a long time since i felt this way, and before you think that it's my monthly emo-moness.. you are wrong.

let me ask you a few questions.

Am i non-existant?

Am i hypersensitive?

Am i too demanding?

Do i ask to much in a friendship?

then again.

maybe i am just not beautiful enough to be your friend.

I feel that the world seems to be ditching me.
why do i even bother writing a blog? nobody really reads it anyway.
i understand the world dosen't revolve around me. but all i ask is for you to have the decentcy to tell me about your whereabouts. don't let me find out myself, I.DON'T.LIKE.IT.
I thought you were my friends. yet, you treat me like a rebound pad; like a piece of rag; you use whenever you need me and ditch me whenever you don't need me. I.AM.HUMAN. you know? I.HAVE.FEELINGS.TOO. if i were to do that to you, how would you feel? you tell me.
i'm really tired. really, really tired.
tired of feeling this way; tired of the way you treat me; tired of putting up with all these.

Am i non-existant?

you didn't aknowledge me.
why do you play these games?
why do you aknowledge me today but not tomorrow?
do you know it is hurtful?
it is already hard enough as it is,
please don't make it any harder.
i.love.u.
but,
i can never have you.
so,
i will bury my feelings,
hoping it will die.

and soon i'll learn that it's my turn,
to go back to God,
change will come,
one by one,
it will start by you.
time will pass,
you will last,
we live life all too fast,
so slow the pace
and lift up your face
and heaven would remind you.

we love and we cry and we live our lifes,
and heaven realise,
we think we know,
but take a look around,
life around us dies,
don't let it die.
can't let it die
please don't let it die.

What i want in a guy (survey)

2007-04-15T16:53:00.001+08:00

This survey must have a valid answer.
Answers like "don't know" or "not
sure" are not allowed. Answers must be
honest. READY?

#01. Would you mind if your guy is fat?
No, but not to the extend the leads to obesity,

#02. Would you want your guy to do
house chores?
YES!

#03. What is the maximum age gap you
and your guy have?
Age is just a number.

#04. Would you mind if your guy smokes?
YES!!! smokers are selfish!!!

#05. Must he get good grades?
erm, as long he doesn't have grades that are appaling.

#06. A muscular/mature guy or a
childish/cute guy?
Mature/cute.

#07. Must he be popular to suit you?
Nope. Popularity is superficial.

#08. Would you allow your guy to join
gang?
No way.

#09. Must he have perfect eyesight?
No. i like guys in specs.

#10. Must he be perfect in everything?
No. nobody is a saint.

#11. Will you be furious OR worried if
your guy gets into trouble with the DM?
DM? what??

#12. Must he be taller than you?
YES! i'm already this short. imagine him being shorter.

#13. What is the first thing that
attracts you?
His smile!!! And the comfortabilty of me being with/around him.

#14. Does how much he love you matter
or as long as you love him is enough?
erm, as long as he loves me but then again, a relationship is a two way thing.

#15. Would you allow your guy to show
tantrums on the elderly or worthy of
respect?
where is the nearest dumpsite? NEVER!

#16. What if your guy's ex still loves
him?
i believe in friendship after relationship.

#17. Which, his character or looks
will make you leave him?
Character for sure.

#18. Must you be his first girlfriend?
No. there isn't a need.

#19. After marriage, must you be
together or follow him back to his
country?
i won't stay with my in-laws. unless they are super rich and i am served with a golden spoon.

#20. What will you do if his friends
bully him?
then wouldn't my guy be a whimp if i stand up for him? erm, if it's playful bully it's fine..

#21. What is the most important thing
you seek in your guy?
Money and substance.

#22. Would you rather your guy be a
studious or bad boy kind?
Studious. wouldn't want him to get himself into trouble. or trouble myself to bail him out.

#23. What if your good friend likes
your guy?
too bad. he's mine!

update on student council election in my college

2007-04-15T03:54:00.000+08:00

as promised.. more pictures on the campaigning of my college's student council elections..

this is the first bulletin board you see once you step into the concourse..

this is one of a poster stuck to a toilet door on the fifth floor..
**you already know who to vote for social..**

the entrance door to our Department of A-Levels..

another bulletin board filled with campaigning posters...

a filled wall.. with campaigning posters...

**i already know who I am supporting, but am I going to vote; that's another thing..**