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past&present speak up crédits basecode: detonatedlove♥ pictures: photobucket designer: vanessa |
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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Randomness
it's a new term, new faces, new challenges and new decisions. college has started. the most tough and challenging term has started. with that, new decisions to make, it's either i make it or break it. A52s reminded me of my 1st term in college, being in the post SPM mood and getting to know the people and environment around. EXPLORATION. ---------------------------------------------------- I have come to believe that people mature in isolation. Isolation, being along with one's thoughts can be a form of meditation and enlightenment. Perhaps one matures when he/she realizes that he/she is ultimately alone in this world, and that he/she must take responsibility for his/her own life, because no one else will. Physically being alone speeds up this realization. Like Tom Hanks in "Castaway". I believe in building from the ground up, whether it be corporate models, orchestra scores, or interpersonal relationships. For example, one needs to learn to love himself before being able to love others. One needs to be able to live in harmony with himself before being able to live together with another person. I guess if I look at it that way, I sure am leading the life these days, becoming a secure individual. (yeah right.) I do not think I'm extremely secure, but I am on my way of dealing with myself. I have been slightly homesick ever since I came back up to KL. I saw my mum tearing up and hiding behind a signboard (dumb, i saw it even if you were trying desperately to hide from me.). I have never been really close to my mum, only recent two years, after I came up to KL, I started being closer to my mum. A friend "interviewed" me a few days ago, he asked me whether I enjoyed living by myself here in KL. Frankly, it's a little of both. I missed coming home to have food prepared for me, clothes washed and ironed nicely for me and being chauffeured everywhere. However, I have most definitely gained independence, learned how to wash my toilet and do my laundry. I loved being here by myself, exploring and gaining experiences that you can only do it when living alone; however, there is that slight wrench in the heart whenever I see my college friends being with their parents. The worst part is being sick and not having anyone to take care of you but yourself! I have been sick countless of time up in KL and most of the time, I seriously wished I was either back home in JB or my mother would be up here. Like right now, I'm having wisdom tooth problems and some toothaches. I would really like to go visit a dentist, but it's too expensive and I do not know dentist in KL. Anyone would like to recommend me one? Please do so. thanks. (probably this could be my excuse to go back to JB...) Side tracking, I have to sign up for my exams by tmrw, and guess what? I'll be signing up for 15papers, but i might not be sitting for 15 papers. Ain't it funny? Edexcel expects us to sign up papers which we don't even know our results. urgh. It'll be a total of RM3000. an extremely freaking big amount for papers. oh and i have given up looking out for people. ----------------------------------------------------   on a lighter note, ain't this baby the cutest. eyes so big and round, cheeks that just calls you to pinch and bite. urgh.... I want a baby just like that, but in order to succeed, I would need to have a Caucasian husband. ish. Labels: home sick, Isolation, Randomness Tuesday, May 08, 2007
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hmm...
i realised another thing today... some people can communicate well enough with one another if they don't have know each other, so long they share some similiarities, they will be able to communicate like no other business.. ----------------------------------- my exams are next week.. my preparation is.... like shite.. the reason? i HAVEN'T finish studying yet... so, it's like shite now.. however, i'm not sitting on pins and needles yet. I'm just STRESSED out.  not FREAKING OUT yet.  if i were given three words to describe my feelings. it would be.... STONED, STUPEFIED and DEAD.  I.HATE.MATHS. ----------------------------------- would you know my name if i saw you in heaven? ---> i said hi, but you just continue to walk away from me. seriously, i'm not emomo. i'm really not. it's just that when finally someone decided to be the first one to greet you, it's either you were blind not to notice it, thought that that someone was greeting someone else or you just plain couldn't care less.. oh well... i'm NOT emomo. serious. =] ----------------------------------- home.love.family. i miss home. i'm homesick. i'm serious. i'm really homesick. i guess you really wouldn't know how to treasure something till you lose it. i miss my mom's cooking. i miss my kakak. i miss my Astro!! i miss being manja-ed. but, no point lamenting about it. i chose to come up to KL to study. thus, this is the price to pay. oh well... Labels: exams, home sick, shite Friday, April 13, 2007
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sick! i'm sick of being sick..
normally this time i'll be in economics class, but due to the fact that i wasn't feeling well.. i was chased back home by Shameen, alea, daniel and qabir. Qabir says i look really terrible in maths class.. but what do you expect, it's MATHS!!! oh well, so during lunch break Daniel halted a cab for me to go back home.. so that's the reason i'm here blogging... i used to love being sick.. but, now, i hate being sick.. i want my mummy to manja me.. i want someone to manja me.. someone that can put up with my whims and fancy.. to look after me when i'm sick.. to cook my favourite food. I.HATE.BEING.SICK!!! i got no voice. a runny nose. an aching body. and no money. ohoh, i got into A-Voice(college's newsletter).. once again under fund-raising.. haix.. guess it's my destiny.. to forever be in this department. Labels: home sick, manja, sick |
THE girl
 its me I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted. byes(:
nenek(stephanie) munmunie(waimun) jen(sujen) vaggie(joylyn) chowchow(sa ra) Roomie(alea) Monkey(Lina) Shanlei(esther) Kath(katheryn) President(karleng) Pretty stuffs!!(Yilin) Kimsng(Kimmy) W3!(weiyan) W3!(weiyan) Lynn(suelynn) Melly(M el Tan) Qabir The Flasher(Jason) Ming Si wei Wendy Vineeta Sarah Chen Sarah Camariah John Lee Sabrina K Pei Jean Balqis Unite For the Children! (unicef) 
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