Tuesday, August 04, 2009
It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe
When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong
I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know why
I do the things I do
When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls and pull me through
Cause It's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on Calvary
Beneath those stormy skies
When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feel like everything is out to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you
-Angela Zhang, JOURNEY.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
Saturday, July 25, 2009
//♥ That's love and life.
I read this on this blog and felt it was particularly sweet and to some extend romantic. However, realistically, I think it's an utter fallacy and impractical. This is something that will never happen in real life, but either way, it was a good read.
My husband is a S/W Engineer by profession, I love
him for his steady nature and I especially love the warm feeling when I lean
against his broad shoulders.
Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a
relationship and my feelings. My husband is my complete opposite; his
lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments
into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
"Why? " he asked, shocked.
"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world !" I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of
disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even
express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?
And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"
Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question.
Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we
both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you
do it for me?"
He said: " I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting that goes....
My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....
This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you
cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can
help to restore the programs.
You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.
You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.
You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every
month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be
infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes
and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the
computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save
my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and
help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand
while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is
someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower
yet, and die ... "
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting...
That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies
in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms;
even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It
could be the dullest and most boring form ...
Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the
relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND
People often goes for romantic gestures, surprises
and sweet words whispered into their ears. We fall in love and feel
loved because of these so called romantic moments.
But the truth is romantic moments cannot show how much a person loves you. They merely create the feeling of being loved.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
//♥ Malaysia FC needs Lady luck and the Lapricorns to score one goal.
Norsharul believes Red Devils can be vulnerable in defence
By ERIC SAMUEL
PETALING JAYA: National striker Norsharul Idlan Talaha believes Manchester United can be vulnerable at the back.
The 23-year-old UPB-MyTeam FC striker with 10 goals to his credit in the Super League said that every team had their strong and weak points.
“There is no doubt that United are a great side but there is always the element of luck for us to seize upon a golden opportunity at goal,” he said.
Norsharul said that although the Red Devils boast of having a star-studded backline, including goalkeeper Edwin van der Sar and towering defenders Nemanja Vidic and Rio Ferdinand, they were not invincible.
“For us to score against United is as good as having won the match,” he said.
Norsharul will lead the Malaysian charge in attack in the match at the National Stadium in Bukit Jalil tomorrow. He assumes the role of chief striker following the omission of Mohd Safee Sali and Mohd Nizaruddin Yusop from the national team.
However, Norsharul will get midfield support from seasoned campaigners Mohd Amri Yahyah and Indra Putra Mahayuddin.
“It is an honour to start in the first 11 against United. Hopefully, we can give them a good fight,” said Norsharul, who wants to pursue a more serious playing career away from home.
“I think it is time for us (Malaysian players) to come out of the shell,” said Norsharul of his plans to secure a contract with a club from a neighbouring country, Singapore, Indonesia or Thailand.
He said that unless the local players took the bold step forward, the standard of the Malaysian game would remain stagnant.
“I hear most of the time players wishing to ply their trade in Europe. But it is sad that none has really made it. I feel it would be better to consider moving to teams in the region first before taking the big leap to Europe,” said Norsharul.
“If Indonesian top guns like Bambang Pamungkas and Elie Aiboy can come to Malaysia and make a name for themselves, we should also be prepared to go abroad and improve our game.”
The Terengganu-born Norsharul, whose future with UPB-MyTeam is hanging in the balance, added that the presence of the foreign players, Keita Mandjou and Traore Abdoulaye, helped him become a better player when he was with Perak three seasons ago.
“I gained a lot playing alongside these foreign players. If we are not going to be exposed to a top field of teams, then, it defeats the purpose playing among ourselves with no real purpose,” he said.
credit to, The Star online.
There is nothing I can comment... but my reaction when reading this article on The Star online I laughed out loud, rolled on the bed, until my stomach hurt so badly, I needed to pee...
we shall see the score tomorrow... XD
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
It's been 3 weeks. The fourth week is coming up, would my decision stand? More importantly, would I be able to live with it? Does it really matter what others think? It's my life at the end of the day, but even though other opinions do not matter, it's going to be something I have to carry through in my life. It is going to be another 40 years minimum.
FORTY years of agony.
If I'm already looking it as an agonising decision, what/why the hell am I following it through?
Am I just settling? Am I doing the correct decision? They always say that the correct decision is always the hardest to make, does this mean I will be making the correct decision?
I'm really sorry. Really, I am sorry.
I'm sorry for my own mistakes.
I'm sorry for letting us down.
I'm sorry for agonising us.
I'm sorry for ruining your life.
I'm sorry for never making you proud.
I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused.
I know no matter the amount of "sorry" I use, it's never enough. After all, it is one of the most overly used word that the user don't really mean it. But, I'm really really sorry, and I only hope that I will be able to live with it.
Monday, June 15, 2009
//♥ Of lemons and races.
我很累. 心累, 也很心煩.
Who says if life throws lemons at you, you must make lemonade, why not lemon meringue?
Sometimes life isn't as plain as it seems. However, wouldn't it be fantastic if every frame in life was a Kodak moment? I suppose, if that were to be the case, life would be extremely boring.
Someone once told me that it not how you start the race but how you end it. Life is a journey and it's not the destination that counts. We learn from our failures, sometimes from those around us; but, nothing beats experiencing it first hand. Then again, it's only human nature nothing wanting to lose out. Or, is this new to our generation? Or, is it the way we were brought up by our parents to fulfill their own selfish desire, to attain something they could not achieve?
A RAT RACE IS STILL A RACE.
No matter the distance or hurdles.
In a race, there can only be one winner. Does that mean the others are losers? I'm tired of this race, I want to stop, give up, forfeit. However, the inertia makes it impossible. It's tiring, it's a vicious cycle because the inertia makes you continue, it makes you move further and farther from what YOU really want in life. And at the end of the day, it takes the might of God to halt, and take a detour or the scenic route or even U-turn. So, this makes the destination as important as the journey?
Life and it's decisions and destinations are as confusing as the missing link in Darwin's theory. Maybe the decisions during the journey is the requirement to get to the destination. The hiccups may not be setbacks but just a wake up call. After all, it is during these situations where we discover, experiment and learn about life and ourselves.
SO, if life throws lemons at you, you can either dodge it, make lemonades or meringues out of them or throw it back at whoever threw them at you. I personally would squeeze them into my vodka.
If only life's decisions were that simple.
I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted.
Melly(M el Tan)
Unite For the Children! (unicef)