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past&present speak up crédits basecode: detonatedlove♥ pictures: photobucket designer: vanessa |
Wednesday, July 01, 2009
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Apologies.
Scatterbrained. It's been 3 weeks. The fourth week is coming up, would my decision stand? More importantly, would I be able to live with it? Does it really matter what others think? It's my life at the end of the day, but even though other opinions do not matter, it's going to be something I have to carry through in my life. It is going to be another 40 years minimum. FORTY years of agony. If I'm already looking it as an agonising decision, what/why the hell am I following it through? Am I just settling? Am I doing the correct decision? They always say that the correct decision is always the hardest to make, does this mean I will be making the correct decision? I'm really sorry. Really, I am sorry. I'm sorry for my own mistakes. I'm sorry for letting us down. I'm sorry for agonising us. I'm sorry for ruining your life. I'm sorry for never making you proud. I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused. I know no matter the amount of "sorry" I use, it's never enough. After all, it is one of the most overly used word that the user don't really mean it. But, I'm really really sorry, and I only hope that I will be able to live with it. Monday, June 15, 2009
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Of lemons and races.
我很累. 心累, 也很心煩. 我的思緒困住了, 變得無法思考. 頭快爆炸. Who says if life throws lemons at you, you must make lemonade, why not lemon meringue? Sometimes life isn't as plain as it seems. However, wouldn't it be fantastic if every frame in life was a Kodak moment? I suppose, if that were to be the case, life would be extremely boring. Someone once told me that it not how you start the race but how you end it. Life is a journey and it's not the destination that counts. We learn from our failures, sometimes from those around us; but, nothing beats experiencing it first hand. Then again, it's only human nature nothing wanting to lose out. Or, is this new to our generation? Or, is it the way we were brought up by our parents to fulfill their own selfish desire, to attain something they could not achieve? A RAT RACE IS STILL A RACE. No matter the distance or hurdles. In a race, there can only be one winner. Does that mean the others are losers? I'm tired of this race, I want to stop, give up, forfeit. However, the inertia makes it impossible. It's tiring, it's a vicious cycle because the inertia makes you continue, it makes you move further and farther from what YOU really want in life. And at the end of the day, it takes the might of God to halt, and take a detour or the scenic route or even U-turn. So, this makes the destination as important as the journey? Life and it's decisions and destinations are as confusing as the missing link in Darwin's theory. Maybe the decisions during the journey is the requirement to get to the destination. The hiccups may not be setbacks but just a wake up call. After all, it is during these situations where we discover, experiment and learn about life and ourselves. SO, if life throws lemons at you, you can either dodge it, make lemonades or meringues out of them or throw it back at whoever threw them at you. I personally would squeeze them into my vodka. If only life's decisions were that simple. Thursday, May 07, 2009
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为什么?
为什么 我的心 这是一个没有答案的问题 我感觉我变了 谁让我变了 不知道 不明了 不想要 Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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Time is running out.
Our time is running out Our time is running out You can't push it underground You can't stop it screaming out How did it come to this? Ooooohh Yeah You will suck the life out of me --------------------------------- Muse - Time is running out. How appropriate. I have 12 days to my FINALS. shit. *thinks of all sorts of swear words available to mankind.* Tuesday, April 21, 2009
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Fix you.
When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse ------------------------------ Coldplay - Fix You. Monday, April 20, 2009
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Snow (Hey Oh)
Come to decide that the things that I've tried were in my life just to get high on. When I sit alone, come get a little known But I need more than myself this time. Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe that we rely on When I lay it on, come get to play it on All my life to sacrifice. Hey oh... listen what I say oh I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh When will I know that I really can't go To the well once more - time to decide on. Well it's killing me, when will I really see, all that I need to look inside. Come to believe that I better not leave before I get my chance to ride, Well it's killing me, what do I really need - all that I need to look inside. Hey oh... listen what I say oh Come back and hey oh, look at what I say oh The more I see the less I know The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah... Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow, Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go; In between the cover of another perfect wonder and it's so white as snow, Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go. Ho! Went to descend to amend for a friend of the channels that had broken down. Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up - just to hear you sing it out. Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe what we rely on, When I lay it on, come get to play it on All my life to sacrifice Hey oh... listen what I say oh I got your hey oh... listen what I say oh The more I see, the less I know The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah... Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow. Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go In between the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go. I said hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now. Hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now. Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow, Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's no where to go. Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow... Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's no where to go. I said hey oh yeah oh yeah... tell my love now Hey yeah yeah... oh yeah. -------------------------------- Red Hot Chili Peppers- Snow (Hey Oh) I'm SO addicted to this song. OMFG OMFG. It's so addictive. Saturday, April 18, 2009
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Elysium
Tonight, my girl, you will sleep with the angels. Without any worries. You will be happy. Take care. <3 Rest in peace. |
THE girl
 its me I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted. byes(:
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