1. yes, i feel lonesome. (i am single you know? but then again, i have "friends")
2. yes, i feel envious. (i just feel like some people are just boasting about their popularity sometimes, may it be true or not.. heck cares. i don't like being unnoticed. then again, i rather be behind the scene sometimes, but not all the time. it makes me ponder why do some people get noticed all the time?)
3. yes, i might be a tad jealous. (how can you not feel jealous when people keep complaining about their "shortcomings" at the same time all you want to have is 50% of what they are complaining. then again, maybe they feel better complaining to you about their "shortcomings" because they would feel better because you are far worse than them.)
4. yes, i feel unwanted. (maybe it's more unnoticed. what's the point of you telling me that you want not to care anymore when you the total 180 of it? it's sickening to the core and i'm disgusted with your actions. don't tell me you want to do this, but in the end you do that. it's slutty. seriously. another thing, i hate it when you are suppose to do something together but in the end(last minute) you cancel it to do something with someone else.)
5. no, i feel very blessed to be here. even though i'm suffering. (life is about suffering, but i'm truly blessed to have a saviour in my life. He gave his life for us and i should count my blessings to be one of his child.)
6. no, i do have friends and "friends". i'm blessed, truly blessed to have you in my life. (friends like the npk darlings don't come easily, i want to take this opportunity to thank you for being in my life thus far, listening to my complains, rants and whining; putting up with my constant *tuut* and my character *trust me, i'm not an easy person to be with*. even those that are superficial, thank you for at least pretending to be my friend at put up with my superficiality and complains. those that are just plain friends, lets be friends and not plastic friends.)
7. no, i will survive and not give up. (life isn't that easy to start with. so why stop now?)
8. so what if you take me for a ride or for granted? (i'm so used to it that i feel numb. you can do all of the above for all i care. as long as i know that my pillars in life will stand by me, i will survive and shine!)
9. he still loves me. you still love me. i am blessed to be here and one of child. (what will we do without grace? even though we are not worthy, but lord will still love us. even though we are not perfect or good enough. He will still be there. yes, we do wrong and shunned by the world but the lord has still been good to me. even though i ain't good enough he still loves me.)
10. NO! I AM LOVED AND NOTICED! (i am loved by my PARENTS, RELATIVES, FRIENDS and GOD. i know i am, and i count my blessings. even though so far, life has been like *tuut*, at least i have you all to look forward to, to turn to when i need help or at least a shoulder to cry on or a ear to talk to. and you all should know that i would do the same for you all too.)

oh, did i mention how i hate that my hunches come true?

I.HATE.IT.

i don't like being always right about everything. it spoils the fun, the sadness and the anger.

Labels: envious, jealous, lonesome, ramblings, random thoughts, unnoticed, unwanted