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past&present speak up crédits basecode: detonatedlove♥ pictures: photobucket designer: vanessa |
Monday, May 07, 2007
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self-realization..
over the past few days, i realised a lot of things.. i realised that by having a blog it can be extremely dangerous. you expose yourself to the entire population of the universe, or at least to whoever that seems to be interested in your posts. anyone can just use whatever you write in your post against you. (comes in handy when you want to blackmail certain people..) you risk your own privacy with every posting. i realised that there are people out there who read my blog that i do not know of. whether is this good or not, i'm not sure. but it goes back to, it's a dangerous thing. because i'm not sure who reads my blog, and what would they do with knowledge from my blog seems very scary. imagine the power they have. but, there isn't anything i have to hide from the world that i post here.. so, oh well. i realised that i have a very messed up life. then again, is it really that messed up? it's more like complicated. have you ever tried to find the words but they don't come out right? have you ever tried to express yourself but your body or mind just wouldn't allow? have you ever tried to figure out someone so badly but you cant? have you ever had someone you you'd give anything to make them feel the same? have you ever tried so terribly hard to make them understand? have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart and you don't know where to start? have you ever felt so useless, hopeless or frustrated at times you just feel like bursting into tears and hope ever so dearly with your heart that that one person would be there for you? have you ever dreamed of someone who was there and all you can do is wait for the day when that someone would care? have you ever felt so dearly for a person only to find out that it will never happen? have you ever felt so frustrated in life that you get sick even thinking of it? well.. i have. and it's complicating and confusing! i realised that i do stupid and confusing things sometimes. In addition, i can be quite blur and i don't think straight sometimes. for example, i give stupid answers or ask stupid questions in class. i don't get certain ideas right away at times, and it can be pretty frustrating. i do something before looking at the whole picture. then again, there is no stupid questions, just stupid answers. i realised that i should be more optimistic. as nenek said, The Power of The Mind! i should think so positively. i should visualize that i'm going to have a comfortable future. after all it has already proven to work. serious. no joke. at least for me lar. be more optimistic and stop bringing down myself! i realised that i'm very uncertain about my future. i'm not sure what i might or want to major in. but that is still in the near future. i shall be more focus in what i have in my hands. like study for my semester exams and make sure i can pass my maths exams.. enough of my self-realization... ------------------------------------- Saturday i went to MidValley to service my laptop.. and guess what? they can't figure out what the problem with my laptop after 1 hour of toggling around with it by 3 technician! all they could come out with is, it is a software problem. and they have never encountered it before. oh well.. i have to send it in another time. man, what a waste of time. on the same day, i met up with eujin at midvalley. the shirt i bought for him was one size too small. yes, too small. he wanted to exchange for himself, but due to the confidentiality of the receipt, we met up to exchange it. but, on the way to Zara, he pointed out that during his fitting, he would already know the price. dang, the blur me.. i forgot about it. *see, stupid action once again.* oh well... L fitted him just nice.. not an M.. even he himself couldn't believe it.. that's it for now.. i gotta study for my econs mocks... gaah.... haix.... Labels: laptop servicing., midvalley, self realization, zara |
THE girl
 its me I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted. byes(:
nenek(stephanie) munmunie(waimun) jen(sujen) vaggie(joylyn) chowchow(sa ra) Roomie(alea) Monkey(Lina) Shanlei(esther) Kath(katheryn) President(karleng) Pretty stuffs!!(Yilin) Kimsng(Kimmy) W3!(weiyan) W3!(weiyan) Lynn(suelynn) Melly(M el Tan) Qabir The Flasher(Jason) Ming Si wei Wendy Vineeta Sarah Chen Sarah Camariah John Lee Sabrina K Pei Jean Balqis Unite For the Children! (unicef) 
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