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past&present speak up crédits basecode: detonatedlove♥ pictures: photobucket designer: vanessa |
Sunday, February 17, 2008
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Randomness
it's a new term, new faces, new challenges and new decisions. college has started. the most tough and challenging term has started. with that, new decisions to make, it's either i make it or break it. A52s reminded me of my 1st term in college, being in the post SPM mood and getting to know the people and environment around. EXPLORATION. ---------------------------------------------------- I have come to believe that people mature in isolation. Isolation, being along with one's thoughts can be a form of meditation and enlightenment. Perhaps one matures when he/she realizes that he/she is ultimately alone in this world, and that he/she must take responsibility for his/her own life, because no one else will. Physically being alone speeds up this realization. Like Tom Hanks in "Castaway". I believe in building from the ground up, whether it be corporate models, orchestra scores, or interpersonal relationships. For example, one needs to learn to love himself before being able to love others. One needs to be able to live in harmony with himself before being able to live together with another person. I guess if I look at it that way, I sure am leading the life these days, becoming a secure individual. (yeah right.) I do not think I'm extremely secure, but I am on my way of dealing with myself. I have been slightly homesick ever since I came back up to KL. I saw my mum tearing up and hiding behind a signboard (dumb, i saw it even if you were trying desperately to hide from me.). I have never been really close to my mum, only recent two years, after I came up to KL, I started being closer to my mum. A friend "interviewed" me a few days ago, he asked me whether I enjoyed living by myself here in KL. Frankly, it's a little of both. I missed coming home to have food prepared for me, clothes washed and ironed nicely for me and being chauffeured everywhere. However, I have most definitely gained independence, learned how to wash my toilet and do my laundry. I loved being here by myself, exploring and gaining experiences that you can only do it when living alone; however, there is that slight wrench in the heart whenever I see my college friends being with their parents. The worst part is being sick and not having anyone to take care of you but yourself! I have been sick countless of time up in KL and most of the time, I seriously wished I was either back home in JB or my mother would be up here. Like right now, I'm having wisdom tooth problems and some toothaches. I would really like to go visit a dentist, but it's too expensive and I do not know dentist in KL. Anyone would like to recommend me one? Please do so. thanks. (probably this could be my excuse to go back to JB...) Side tracking, I have to sign up for my exams by tmrw, and guess what? I'll be signing up for 15papers, but i might not be sitting for 15 papers. Ain't it funny? Edexcel expects us to sign up papers which we don't even know our results. urgh. It'll be a total of RM3000. an extremely freaking big amount for papers. oh and i have given up looking out for people. ----------------------------------------------------   on a lighter note, ain't this baby the cutest. eyes so big and round, cheeks that just calls you to pinch and bite. urgh.... I want a baby just like that, but in order to succeed, I would need to have a Caucasian husband. ish. Labels: home sick, Isolation, Randomness |
THE girl
 its me I dreamed a dream in time gone by. When hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die. I dreamed that God would be forgiving. Then I was young and unafraid. And dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid. No song unsung, no wine untasted. byes(:
nenek(stephanie) munmunie(waimun) jen(sujen) vaggie(joylyn) chowchow(sa ra) Roomie(alea) Monkey(Lina) Shanlei(esther) Kath(katheryn) President(karleng) Pretty stuffs!!(Yilin) Kimsng(Kimmy) W3!(weiyan) W3!(weiyan) Lynn(suelynn) Melly(M el Tan) Qabir The Flasher(Jason) Ming Si wei Wendy Vineeta Sarah Chen Sarah Camariah John Lee Sabrina K Pei Jean Balqis Unite For the Children! (unicef) 
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